Not Even My Own Feelings !

I always have mixed feelings about everything.I am forever confused and unsettled in my mind.If this moment I think I want to do this ...the next moment I might lose interest doing it......
Even when I am in a relationship whether its a romantic one or a pure friendship...I go through hell.I am happy and positive about the relationship one moment ...and extremely negative the very next moment.People who have been with me had difficulty understanding my surprising ...sometimes shocking behavior.I can't blame them for accusing me for being moody or cruel. That's how I behaved with them.
The most difficult part is the unpredictability of my own moods,even I don't know how I am going to behave next...but sometimes it's fun when out of nowhere I feel very happy and positive about the people and world around me...which is rare though!
I don't know what I am looking for in life...so when people ask me "what do you want" or" what are your expectations are"...I am like ...hell yeah...WHAT DO I WANT?


Aliva Aliva
36-40, F
3 Responses Jul 13, 2010

Hi pretty lady, I feel the EXACT SAME WAY concerning romantic/ pure love! I'm 17 but I can relate...

Hi holysoul......glad to know that I am not alone who go through this roller coaster ride of moods every now and then:)<br />
<br />
Hi WindUpBird,its been long since we last had a nice ,stimulating conversation......we had some of the best moments when we talked for long about anything that used come to our mind at that point of time...................hope to catch up with you someday again:)

I understand you Aliva, all that you talked about happens to me and I just keep telling myself :I am different , I have to define what I want, I have to control my feelings and my moods.... trust me this is quite normal and that happens to people all the time.<br />
:)