Been Separated For 2 Months Now And Thought It Would Get Easier.

I was doing okay for the most part and thought I was on my way to recovering. Since the break up I've hit the gym hard and lost alot of weight and been feeling alot more self confident. Im actually happy at what I see in the mirror now. I've also made steps in overcoming my social anxiety by meeting new people and joining a social anxiety group. Then my ex came over and had a talk that brought me back to a deep dark place that I thought I would never see again. We had a heart to heart talk and things where looking up, she agreed to go to counselling with me and work out the differences, that gave me so much hope. Then the next day she comes over and tells me that she no longer wants to go to counselling and that she wants to see other people. We been together for over 10 years and have 2 kids together and I cant believe that in only 2 months she has gotten over me and wants to see other people. Though things were never perfect I thought we were happy. It hurts so much that in the months leading up to the separation I asked to go to counselling many times but she wouldnt even give me the chance. On top of all this she said that she went to the bar and had a one night stand. She said she still wants to be friends and cares for me deeply but in my rage I told her to leave and that she was dead to me.

I wanna be positive, I wanna be better and thought I was almost there. Now I feel so weak and feel that all the progress I made is gone.