Newly Separated

Im newly separated from my wife of 4 years and not by choice. I got into a car accident and she kept the insurance money. She left me to struggle to pay for school on my own without even a way to my job. All because I told her 6 months ago that i was sick of our life and wanted to change it news years day she didn't reciprocate so i gave her my ring and told her I wasnt in love anymore. I do love her but im not in love and i dont want to waste my time with someone who doesnt want to fix our marriage. Talk about a womans scorn.
LoneAlpha LoneAlpha
31-35, M
30 Responses Jul 1, 2012

Please someone help me to find a Support group is Been only a week that i found out that my husband was cheating On me
I would like to meet other people wirh the same problem cause im very down and depress
Please let me know where can i go
Thanks so much

There's no use being in a relationship with someone who won't fight for it, so sounds like a good decision.

Thats pretty crappy what you went through. I hope things are better for you today & you were able to find happiness.

The way I read your story is that you created a big ugly mess and expected her to clean up after you. Were you drunk when you had the accident? Possibly. What did you expect her to feel when you told her you were sick of your life together? I wonder if now, a year later, you take some responsibility for things more.

Nope I was sober and on my way to work. Sounds like you cant read. Lol.

Hi.. I cant help thinking she was also dissatisfied with the relationship with you, and why make to people suffer discontentment and dull excistance when you can look for your happiness and want of a new life with someone new? it was the best thibg for both of you..

Nah she wasnt. She was happy.

Been there done that and never again. Some people just grow apart. Every ten years or so each individual goes through changes. (:

I like to change but on my own....

I was your age when I divorced. I regret marrying him because he wasn't the one for me. I met a wonderful man after we divorced and I couldn't ask for a better man. We want to get married but I only think God gives us one shot and I blew it. I'm so torn. I want to live right in the eyes of the Holy Spirit.

Very sad so sorry

Its okay im very happy now thanks :)

I am sure that this cannot be easy for you, as I myself still love my husband, however I decided too that it isn't worth sticking around to help fix/change things when its all one sided! Your decision may be a hard one, nevertheless it is the right one. More so, your ex-spouse sounds cold and selfish, which is the opposite you needed during that time. I wish you all the best and hope that you find a partner that shares your strength!

Thank you sometimes its just better to end things and move on.

The people we care about the most are so hard to lose. Im sorry. This cant be easy for anyone.

Wives can be fickle creatures when things don't go their way. I'm hoping things are getting better for you!

Indeed they are and things have already started turning around. Thanks for the comment and best wishes. :)

I am sorry for what u went through. Sounds alot like my situation. I feel ya. I hope u find someone who will love u and make u happy and give u the life u deserve.

Thank you so much means alot to me :)

I'm just recently separated. When did you get to the point where you actually felt you were better off. I hear people say it to me but I don't feel it yet.

I realized 6 months before this. She tried a bit but doing all the wrong things still. It was too late.

Wow, I wouldn't screw over a STBX like that, that's cold.


Soon to be ex.

im sorry:( thats so messed up...go find someone else she sounds like a *****

In progress


You gonna eat your corn bread? ;)

hell ya

1 More Response

You are obviously better off without her, all the best to you!!..

No doubt and thanks

No problemo

What's the difference between being "in love" and love?

I love many people but when Im "In love" Thats the only person I think about, the person who makes my heart throb, the person in my dreams, the one who makes me happy effortlessly.

I see...I know I can love, but have always had difficulty with the distinction between the two, I tend to think the initial infatuation/lust/almost a sort of addiction transforms into something deeper and anchored, which would make me feel safer, more balanced and sure of the rambling...oops

Well Ive only felt it a few times in my life so I tend to fall head over heels and it can last forever with the right woman.

I hope that your plans work out and you find what you're looking for :)

Thank you :)

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Agree.... sorry I picked up the word "blame" from another contributor :)

Whilst I am sad for both you and your wife that your marriage has broken down I hope you agree that there is really insufficient information for me to agree that your former wife was totally to blame.

In the course of a marriage the balance of relationships change. Were you to some extent the leader to a younger less dominant women? Could that power structure have changed in four years?

Do you have voluntary marriage guidance councillors in USA and was this a route you both might have considered? Hope you are now looking forward to Christmas and a Happy New Year

I didnt say she was to blame but I gave her plenty of chances to work on it. She is to blame for her part. Im much better off and Im happy. Thanks for commenting.

No one can really blame you for your decision... I don't know her but she seems immature. But in the end , you made the right decision for yourself...

Good luck, man. I separated from my wife in Feb of 2011, after 28-1/2 years of marriage, and it is ROUGH to be rejected by someone you used to care so much for. For me, it was a result of a self-realization that I shared with her (read my stories to learn more about me), which she simply could not accept. Now that the pain is behind me, I understand why she did what she did, but it doesn't change the fact that it hurt... A LOT!
Hang in there... hopefully, better times are ahead. My divorce was only final about 14 weeks ago, but my life is much better now... not perfect, by any means, but much better.
If you care to talk about anything, feel free to send me a private message. I'm happy to tell you ANYTHING, share ANYTHING, commiserate over ANYTHING.

Thank you bro! I will and thank you for commenting. So glad you reached resolution.

I'm so sorry to hear that! Women are pure evil! Don't worry, karma will get her ***. You'll soon see you are better off without her!

Thanks I feel better already! Thank you for the comment and best wishes. ;)

Careful who you share your life with. Avoid dishonorable women.

Lol indeed. I seem to be attracted to ****** up women. Or emotionally unavailable women. Sigh...

Evil women are usually seductive and ask for a lot of things.

Sorry for what you went thru.... but hope the days to come will be better than yesterday...and u will find your happiness and smile again.. :)

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Some people just aren't worth keeping in your life. I think you made a very strong decision and I hope you're doing better!

Thank you for the support. It means alot. ;)


Are u looking for her here? ..)

She is probably stalking me. But no. So ignore any mails you get asking questions about me.

Gosh, im afraid)))

Dont fear lunatics. ;)


1 More Response

no relationship can b worked on unless the other party is willing to work on it as well. know where ur coming from.

Not sure of the exact reason, sorry you have to go all through these. You say you love her, but not in love. I think I know where that is coming from.

Thank for sharing and understanding. :)

Hopefully you feel the weight lifted off your shoulders now, it is a good feeling. Good Luck

It's great that you had the courage to speak up for what you wanted...the way she dealt with it isn't so great though, and I'm sorry.....