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My Life Seems Empty

My wife and i have separated, we have been together for 22 years. Like any other marriage we had our up's and down's. I belived she was my soul mate and still do. She came home one day a told me we were finished, and she wanted to leave taking our children with her, l was devastated, my life just crashed to the floor that night she told me, She is still living with me as she is the one who wants to move out. But everytime I go into a room she is in she walks out, I asked her why she did this, she replied it was because she knew i still had feelings for her, I admit I LOVE MY WIFE. I have asked her if we can try again but she refuses, I dont know what I am going to do when she goes as my home will be like my life an empty shell.
tigermoth1234 tigermoth1234 41-45, M 13 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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Hi Tiger. I am going through a similar situation, not as long as 22 years but mine has been 15 years. I travel a lot and admit that I knew my wife was not faithful to me. But in the past few years things have changed and she has clearly been outward about her sexual prowels. Respect went out of the window. So we decided to be away for a while. How I am dealing with this is whether I can love her and know that she can love me, knowing who we are. That's the only way I can handle my situation. I hope this helps.

Tigermoth is now living on his own. His wife is moving her bf in. And two of his boys have nothing to do with him. If you can help him feel better, do. He is a cherished friend and an awesome man. I am sad for his sadness now.....

Thanks for the note. I live alone, and it is a great time for me to find myself....all\'s not lost.

I am Free too. After 3 decades of a sexless marriage...I am finally happy. And I am in love with a man from here. I have been alone even in that marriage so I am ready to move on. Life IS awesome, friend! JOY! Not lost-found! :)

This has just happened to me. My wife and I have been married 21 years and a few months ago I saw a difference in her actions. She told me the same thing that she was done and moving out. Well, come to find out, she has a new man in her life. So I have got to get it together and move on with my life. I hurt too, but we got to go on. Don't know if this helps you, but good luck.

that is like a time bomb..bam!!! and its over ?

Try (without her knowing), the 40 day love dare. Google it, it could be pretty awesome for you!

I'm so sorry. Seems like a theme. It's amazing how common. Have you tried asking her what it would take, seriously, without sarcasm or desperation? This isn't working for you, so what can I do to fix it? If she says nothing, don't give up. As long as there is love, there is hope.

well times moved on now I have tried everything possible .My wife has now left and in a house of her own with the kids and has a new relationship. I have grieved her loss and now have to rebuild my own life and find happiness again.

im sorry for your loss..you seem a good person with a caring heart..im sure you will find love again before to long..this world needs hearts like yours..peace and love to you

Thank you so much, I hope you also have peace and love in your life

neverdiewondering knows nothing on love. he throws people away like trash. that is the truth, the sad truth. he has no peace and no love. not any that counts....

Love.You wrote this on my birthday. Somehow I missed it. You are such an amazing man. Sensitive. Devoted father. Passionate. Loyal. Loving. I am blessed by your friendship and by your love. You will do just fine. I know it. For you can dance like the wind and love like the sun. Kissessssssssssssssssssssssssss....Love you too. xoox Your offspring will be fine because you love constantly even in sorrow. xoxoxo

I think it's probably a good time to now take time for yourself get to know you better things will fall into place I do believe everything happens for a reason I also love my husband and can't imagine life without him after 28 yrs I recently cheated on him n told him he doesn't want to work things out n I have to accept that I'm now am a little excited to learn about myself I don't even know what I like n believe me I'm seriously depressed just focus on yourself don't let your mind wonder stay focused good luck to us both!!!!!!

I sincerely hope you find happiness .
Thank you for reading
xx

Whether the leaver or the left, it's hard...my circumstances were different, but mourning a twenty-plus year marriage is painful no matter how you look at it.



Hope that your future looks brighter, and that you are finding value and joy in your new life.

Thank you for your words

Hang in there Tiger. I was married for 20 years and we have two children 17 and 14. It has been a horrible experience. I moved out because I had someplace to go and he did not. As a result I am mothering from 4 blocks away and trying to slip in and out while he is not there. I fear I've lost him the the "sexting" addiction he has gotten into.



Take one day at a time - if you would like a texting friend, let me know. I can offer support and I hope you can do the same. It sucks to be in love with someone who considers you plan "b".

I don't see how such a bright, smiling face could be a plan "b". Chin up sweeties.

Thanks - somewhere I lost my smile... I'm working on find it again. Sometimes you just go through the motions but it never hits your eyes. Thanks for the vote :)

OMG - Exactly the same circumstances for me!. I feel your paid. Such an emotional roller coaster and all I want is answers. One hand I want this to pass quickly and the other hand I want to get back together. It eats me up.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is not easy on anyone, but I have found hope and look to the future, and I can romanticise the past. Friends on EP have helped me on the right path and I thank them for that. Your day will come also.

Thanks tigermoth. I have my son at home and a daughter in college and they keep me grounded. House will go up for sale in a couple weeks. She wants me to stay until house sells for financial reasons but seeing her come and go and wanting nothing to do with me hurts. When we do talk I get treated with disdain. Everything I have done for 23 years was focused on our well being. House next to me has been for sale for over a year so this can be a long haul. Been reading STOPYOURDIVORCE.com and it helps but it is hard to heed the advice.

The reason was that she fell out of love with me. No other reason was given

My husband has just told me the same thing, "it's not about you I just don't love you anymore" how can that possibly not be about me????

My life starts today. Enjoy Life no matter what :-)

thanks I guess I just need to let go, I think the thought of the kids not being around is my greatest regret. I really did not think I would be a weekend dad.

We have a13 yr old daughter and husband is moving a couple of hours drive away, reckons it won't make any difference to him seeing our gorgeous girl :(