I still open my eyes in the morning, and look to your side of the bed.
I expect you to be there, the dream is over right? Thank God. It was awful.
I dreamed that my best friend, lover, companion, the woman I trusted with all my secrets, failures, insecurities, emotions, triumphs, hopes, and dreams had left…
I dreamed she walked away without warning, taking my child. Without sign of regret, sorrow, or second thought she took my daughters hand and didn’t look back.
I dreamed that the years of promises, the countless hours she spent building my trust in humanity, teaching my heart that the world wasn’t so bad. Taking my hand when I was scared or alone, and telling me that everything was alright…She was there and never going to leave my side. That I was stuck with her forever…I dreamed that it all was a lie.
This savior of my soul, this mother of my child, this confidant in love, my partner in crime with the face of an angel, and a heart of gold, had turned out to be like so many of the others. Who held my heart gently and then dropped it at my feet.
I watched as her face turned dark, like a demon. She transformed into something I didn’t recognize. this was not the girl I loved…Not the woman I married…Not my friend.
I watched as she took hold of my heart and soul, and twisted it into an unrecognizable mess, tied a piece of string to it, and began to drag it slowly behind her. I couldn’t escape. I was forced to watch as she walked along, breaking promise after promise, and damaging me beyond repair.
I open my eyes and look to your side of the bed, expecting you to be there; but you are not. Your pillow still cold, because your pretty head has not graced it in a month. Your perfume has almost completely faded from its memory.
I’ll awake tomorrow expecting you to be there…To tell you about the horrifying dream i had, wanting to hold you tight, and thank God its over. I’ll want to give you the impossible details…
But you already know…you were there.