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It's Been A Tough Year, And Getting Tougher

Hi, I'm new to this so please bare with me. I split with my husband on 15th July, my decision, I couldn't take the accusations, horrible moods, the horrible way he spoke to my children, we all tip toed around the house scared to do or say something wrong, he was never happy and everything I did or said was wrong. He's moving out at the end of August, I feel really betrayed an hurt, he never accepted my children, he seemed to resent me and them and I feel I was his way out of his past marriage (he treated his ex wife an her kids the same way). My sister died in December 2011, she had leukaemia, she was only 39, he didn't support me for long and didn't support my kids at all. Although I feel scared an lonely and upset, I know life's to short to waste it on somebody who obviously wanted to make your life miserable. I hope soon I get my confidence back. Thanks for reading xxx
Razzleshazzle Razzleshazzle 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 28, 2012

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Good luck, it maybe hard but it will be worth it in the long term. I just cannot believe men can treat their wives like that. best wishes

Hi, thankyou, life feels pretty **** at the moment, feel like I meant nothing excpet somebody to take his hatred of women out on. He was so lovely when we met, but now I realise it was all an act. I've lost a sister and husband all in 8 months, keeping the smile on my face for my girls is hard. Thanks again for your message xxx

You did a very brave thing, and I admire you. You will get your confidence back when he is gone, and you can start to rebuild the part of yourself that he dragged down. XO.

Thankyou, I hope so, at the moment I feel as if my confidence is at rock bottom, he doesn't even want to own up to the mistakes he's made or try and put them right, I feel as if I meant nothing to him at all, and he acts as if it's all me, when i'm his third wife and he's made the same mistakes on all 3. It's a shame cus when we met he was a lovely guy, I was so happy and felt so lucky, but unfortunately it didn't last. I hope I can one day learn to trust again. xxx

Join the club - seriously. There are some people who just blame everything on everyone else. And usually those that suffer the most are the ones who ACCEPT blame very easily. You will not get him to admit anything at this point. My husband was lovely when we met, too, and then turned into something else. And blamed me for it. But we're not responsible for other people's changes or dispositions. We can only be who we are. Let him go, focus on yourself, and try not to worry about the future. (This is what I'm telling myself, too)

Hang in there! Try to stay positive and know it's all temporary. Through our trials is how we mine for gold.

Thankyou xx