I just recently moved out and separated from my husband of 25 years. It's not the first time but hopefully the last. I just learned that I have been emotionally abused from a passive-aggressive husband. For years, since the beginning, there has been issues between us. I've either chalked it up to immaturity on both our parts, learning about my husband's likes and dislikes, maybe some of my own depression issues. But after all these years, I felt not intimate with my husband and couldn't understand why. I had thoughts of what my life would be like if I was single or with someone else. I really thought I was unhappy and it was all my fault until I found the subject of passive aggressive and the veil has been lifted from my eyes. OMG! Everything made sense. I brought it up to my husband and he did his typical excuses and I explained that I love him but we have to change. I am gonna seek help for my co-dependency and said he has a year to show me that he really either loves me and wants to get help or he likes the way he is and we will just get a divorce. I am so hoping for reconciliation. I've moved 2 1/2 hours away and transferred my job and am so lonely. This is really hard and I don't have anyone to talk to yet. So I'm just reaching out here.
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4 Responses Aug 14, 2012

Stay strong. God Bless you. I'm going through the same. Im so sorry your going through this.

Reach out and make friends. Do some volunteer work or join a group or a club. This is your time now. Embrace being single and making your own choices and living life on your terms. It is so hard in the beginning.......give into the tears when they come a push yourself during a period of renewed energy and in no time you will be feeling like you've reinvented yourself to your new life!

I feel so sorry for you reading your story. I am sure that you will find many of us on EP with similar stories and just wanting someone to chat to. Best wishes

Wow reading this, I could have written it! We have similar stories! My husband is passive aggressive massively...he moved out..I always fantasized about leaving him for TRUE LOVE and he finally moved out. I was attacked by two women who held me down and he just stood there...not helping me... because his "safety zone" was more important than me getting physically abused.......I cannot forget, I can forgive , but not forget. He also does the passive aggressiveness thing too. Deep rooted in his selfishness...his upbringing sucked, alcoholic home, abuse, he gets passive to survive and gets aggressive to take out his problems on me...I do not care what happens I am not going back to that ****. You? I am 21 years into this marriage and I need to get free, find someone who will not take their crap out on me. We are worth more than that! Life is too short! There are men out there (once we recover ) that will love and respect us...I know it is true! Hang in there...and just remember you deserve more!! It is there waiting for us!!