YesterdayYesterday was Thursday August 30, 2012 and I left the house at 6:30pm. I stayed and waited until he got home to say our good byes, give our last hugs and share our last tears. Oh my god, did we ever cry.
We were too young when we got married, especially me, I was only 21, and I guess life started to happen. Everything changed. What we wanted out of life, what we were getting out of it, it wasn't making either of us happy anymore. I'm a wanderer and he is deeply rooted. He wants kids and I don't. So before we started to get angry and hate each other we decided that we want to save a friendship rather than ruin the past 6 years that we had together.
All I can think now is that even though this truly is the wisest choice and we both knew it was going to hurt a helluva a lot, I wish he was here. I wish I could have a hug with his strong farmers arms. I wish I could feel his kiss on my forehead tomorrow morning. I wish he was here to make me smile. Hell, there are points during the day that I wish I hated him so that I didn't feel like this but it's never true, I'm actually very glad that we don't hate each other.
I know in the future it's going to get easier to cope and so far it's gone pretty well. Kept myself busy with friends, did some early homework assignments (apparently my prof is a real keener this year), and I even cleaned. I also know that there will be times that I miss him dearly, right now as an example, and wish I could have him back.
I wouldn't change any of the last 6 years for the world. I care deeply for him, wish him the best, hope he finds happiness again, and he'll always have a place in my heart.