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Starting Again

Recently seperated with 50/50 custody of my twin 6 year old boys. been 3 months and cant move on all I want is my family back although the relationship was far from great. it was life with a family. Just lost
rydad rydad 46-50, M 5 Responses Sep 7, 2012

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You're doing better than me! Recently separated too but so far only been together with the kids, 3 boys and a girl ages 12 through 6, for 3 hours out of 1000.

I am so sorry. I can tell you are sad. I have only begun the separation process. I think husband is actually as relieved as I am. Anyway, give yourself time to deal with it all. 3 months is not very long at all, I'm sure its all still raw. I am pulling for you.

My divorce was final about a month ago (three year old girl). Spend your time with your kids like today isn't promised. As far as you are concerned, start dating again (I have had great luck on Plenty of Fish). I have also found putting a renewed focus on friends and family can help. If you aren't happy with your current circle of friends or need help finding things to do with your kids, try meetup.com. I have a playgroup I take my daughter to and there are lots of events for adults. Most aren't even focused on dating but finding like minded people to hang out with. It's going to be tough, but you can make it.

I feel your pain rydad. My wife just told me she didnt love me any more. My 16th anniversary is in 2 weeks and we have 3 kids 16, 12 & 3. They have been my life for 15 years and now I'm all alone. All I ever did was love my wife. Now I'm staying at my moms house trying to figure out where I'm going to live and how to move on past this most difficult time of my life. Good luck to you my friend.

Hi....yes "lost" is a very real feeling when you are newly separated. I still say, 5 months later, that I feel like someone stuck me in the wrong life and I wonder when this nightmare will be over. After 10 years in a "soul mate" type relationship, I moved out of his home because he said we fought too much over kids (blended family). Okay, I moved out right away after he expressed his unhappiness in the hopes that we would reflect on ourselves, see how we could make improvements etc. He moved in a new girlfriend and her kids 2 weeks ago..........I guess that says it all huh? Yes ....lost if a feeling , but not a permanent one, just temporary. I have taken charge, and it has been horrible painful, but I am reinventing myself as a single mom, making new friends, talking with friends and people who support me. A family is what you still have, you and the twins.......you haven't lost that....the molecules have just been rearranged...best of luck!