Why???

My wife just told me she didnt love me any more. My 16th anniversary is in 2 weeks and we have 3 kids 16, 12 & 3. They have been my life for 15 years and now I'm all alone. All I ever did was love my wife. Now I'm staying at my moms house trying to figure out where I'm going to live and how to move on past this most difficult time of my life.
Dolfangm Dolfangm
36-40
3 Responses Sep 12, 2012

Well....i just went thru exactly what youre going thru now....I was married for 25 years had 2 children 16 and 12. My "ex" got caught with her high school boyfriend which ended our marriage right on the spot. Just 2 weeks after my divorce was final my 12yr old was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma (cancer) stage 4b. Well just when ya think youve had enough...i was completely crushed and angry and had the same "what did i do to deserve this?!?" I work hard i do the laundry i cook i clean i never cheated or lied to her i never hurt her physically....so why? These are answers i will never know all i was told by her was " i feel i lost my voice" I had no idea what to do. Sooo with that brief explanation...heres what i learned maybe it will help you
Dont try to make sense of anything yet...its too early. Just breathe in breathe out and move on day to day focus on work and the kids. One thing that helped me the most was exercising....work out everyday. In time i promise things will be good...time IS the only healer here. Its been a year for me now and Ive never been better. My son is getting better....im back on my feet financially and im in the best shape of my life.
I no longer have the need for answers i no longer want to know why. I understand my role in the demise of our relationship (very important) I also realized...she obviously wasnt my soul mate...so that means shes still out there somewhere waiting for me...now THATS exciting....life will be good... know its just time that needs to pass...bear down and sweat it out all the heartache will be gone soon. Hope things work out for you any way you go...it definitely did for me

Very inspirational kajun. I appreciate the advice. Sounds like you have made it through the storm. I'm sure as you said with time I will make it through my storm. I think you are 100% right on what I need to be focusing on. Thanks for sharing your story and inspiring me to stay strong

Why did you move out. If she does not want you or love you anymore get her to move out. You keep the kids and get her to pay you child support.
Oh sorry, what was I thinking, the law does not work that way, it's the woman gets the house and the kids, child support and alimony. Silly me. My bad.

I'm so sorry about what has happened to you. No matter how many signs you see you are still never prepared for what seems inevitable. I know how it feels to lye awake at night hoping to wake up from a nightmare. I know how it feels to feel like you're nothing and been left with more questions than answers. It hurts so deep down in your soul when you have done everything imaginable to make someone happy but they never notice or even care. I'm sorry is all I can say, I can't tell you why it happens to the best of us but I do know that tomorrow is another day. Keep your chin up and know that you are worth far more than what she valued you at. <3

Wow that was so thoughtful :)

You know whats amazing? The fact that no matter how good we feel about ourselves, a good portion of our esteem lies in how others esteem us. I dont know about you but right now i'm feeling less than a woman. My six year old daughter is trying to communicate with me and my mind isn't even clear enough to function like a mother should all because of him. It just hurts so bad and it seems tears are constantly building up in my eyes because I can't believe what is happening to me. I never thought I was the marrying type, but I gave in and did it anyway. I let my wall down and regret it now. I can't eat, can't sleep and the pain... it hurts so bad I can't ignore it. How are you coping?

I'm just trying to take it day by day. I feel your pain, but you have to be strong for your kids. I know it's hard but just know that you aren't the only one going through something like this. I feel weird about doing this but I'm going to give you my email. Dolfhangreg @ gmail.com contact me whenever u need to talk or vent. I will do my best to offer you encouragement and support. I'm not sure if you are a religious person or not but I am and I have really been focusing on God a lot more to help me thru this tough time. I'm so glad I found this site because I think this dialogue is very helpful as well. Well I look forward to hearing back from you.

Greg :)