S.t.u.c.k. - Stuck!

Separated from my husband but living under the same roof. I have no money to move and the stakes are higher because I have two small girls. I can't take being under the same roof with this man another day. It just still hurts so bad knowing that he doesn't love me after all i've done for him. I try every minute of the day to mask my true feelings and hide them from my kids. I feel helpless and hopeless and the worst part is I have no one to talk to. I have family but we don't communicate on that level. I have no friends and the one person I had to confide in never even answered. The days are getting darker and darker and the pain is more than my heart can bear. How could he do this to me? I poured my heart out to him and told him how lonely I was and how I felt I had no one. He said he didn't care and I can go if I wanted. Marriage shouldn't be like this. Its so unfair that such horrible things happen to good people. Maybe I did something wrong somewhere along the way and didnt notice. He never talks to me, he never compliments me, he never touches me unless I touch him first, he never offers to do anything nice for me, he never apologizes for his actions, he never takes me anywhere, he just doesn't care.

The walls are starting to cave in and i'm dying for someone to throw me a life reserver. Where is help when you need it? When things are good there are far too many people around, when crap hits the fan they all scatter. Lonely, all by myself and all alone.
AnnieLen AnnieLen
31-35, F
6 Responses Sep 12, 2012

That's the question that I sometimes ask - where is help when you need it. Sometimes it is limited based on geography among other factors. I think naively if I had alot of money that is maybe what I would do is encounter stories like yours and help fix it but I'm not independently wealthy and have issues of my own to handle. Maybe if we both wish hard enough things will work out. I hope so...

I am in the same exact boat!! Except I have 2 boys and one is autistic. I read your story and realize we could be married to the same guy! I'm so sorry honey! But I feel ya, for sure! I suddenly decided about 3 weeks ago, I could not do this any longer. I filed for divorce and my atty is getting a court order for him to leave. How can he possibly think its ok for him to stay here in my home after the divorce??? WTF is he smoking??

I am going through a very similar situation but I dont have kids. We been married for only two years. My husband does the same to me. All i can say is pray for you. Take refuge in the lord. He is your redeemed. That is what I do. He has been there for me when I wanted escape everything. He is your father and loves you dearly. Seek him with all your heart and you will find him.


Take care,
bee

AnnieLen

My wife recently left me. I think, if she could honestly say why she did it, the reasons would be very very similar to what you described above. My wife felt like I didn't love her and - when she confessed to me her fears and needs - I simply failed to act the way a husband should.

Although I did (eventually) want to try resolve everything - by that time, it was far too late. She has a path she wants to follow. Just her and our daughters. I now have to live with the regret of not loving my wife - my best friend - the way I should have.

If things cannot be resolved with your husband then you will need to take that very difficult step of following your path to happiness. Do what's best for your and your children.

It's so sad when a relationship breaks down. It's possible one of the worst emotions you can go through as all you feel like doing is thinking about what you can have done differently. As much as it hurts me to say it, my wife was correct in what she done: she decided enough is enough. Don't feel bad if you decide that you feel the same. Follow your path to happiness.

I'm in a similar situation. Even as we move toward divorce, we are still living together. Trying to act asthough everything is normal for the kids, but let me tell you something- kids sense things. They may not understand why- but they feel all of that tension, anger, hurt. You can't actually smooth it over for them. The only way to help them is to find your happiness and set a good example of how to care for yourself.
I love my house, so does my husband. Neither of us want to leave it, neither want to see it sold to split the equity. He down right refuses to leave. If he were abusive, I'd have him removed by force. But like you, he's only guilty of not giving a damn. He won't put any energy into the relationship, he won't work at fixing it. Although I do recommend trying that first. Carrying on as seperated but living together isn't working for you. It's up to you to make the next move.

You are not alone. I am here for you. Wait a minute that's a Michael Jackson song. No but for real I am going through a similar situation. I wish I was still in my home but she does not want me around. I love my kids so much and feel like i took my marriage for granted.