In So Much Pain

Hello, first off my name is Christian. Well it all started 9 years ago when I met who I thought was the woman of my dreams, Christine. We talked and saw eachother for months b4 starting a serious relationship. We were a pretty normal couple. We went to movies, spent time with eachothers family, and our sex life was amazing. In July of 08 we had our son Marcus, who is an amazing boy. Now I must tell of my issue because I can barely type right now.....on Father's Day of 2011, she left pretty much with little notice for an old friend from high school she was reunited with on Facebook out of all places. The thought of this happening is unbelievable. Knowing she was and is still having sex with someone else and my son being around it is sickening. Up until a few months ago she led me on to maybe getting back together, even though she just had a baby by this guy. Yeah, a baby. A baby she didn't want at first and wanted an abortion. She recently tells me she's not with this guy but becaus of her big family I have head otherwise. Miss her dearly and despite all the lying and cheating she has done, I want her back. I lost my virginity to her. She was my first and only love. I can't move on...I'm soooo lonely and sad everyday. I'm scared of the thought of starting over with someone new. I surely can use some support. My mom just recently got diagnosed with cancer and is going thru chemo, so I don't wanna burden my parents with my problem.
christian8510 christian8510
26-30, M
2 Responses Nov 27, 2012

I feel you. It's like your impulse to share everything you are with one person has been slashed away by some grim reaper of love.

You will get over her. It will hurt, but it will happen. Based upon what you wrote, getting back with her will only cause you more hurt. The past may not predict the future but it is a damned good indicator of what might happen.

If at all possible, get at least joint custody of your child. Despite the pain, you need to be present in your child's life.