Stayed For The Kids

I still love my wife but I am no longer in love with her..( felt this for last 16 years)
When my son was born I told him as I held his tiny little body that he would never be without a Father..(My Dad passed away when I was 9 and it was tough growing up without a Dad)
22 Years later I told my wife of 23 years that I want a separation. We have been together for 28 years and we raised her son from her first marriage and her niece who was going into the system if someone didn't adopt her.
We were not even married yet when she asked me if I would help her do this and I agreed immediately. This little girl could not walk speak and had 1 tooth at almost 2 years old. She brought much joy into our family and I loved both of them as MY Own Children.. I had a few arguments with family members over getting so involved so quickly but i was in Love and it was good for quite some time.
By the time my Son was born the marriage was strained due to my actions for which I have always accepted responsibility for. I was the best father I could be to my children but I could have been a MUCH Better father and husband and for that I have always felt guilty.
I finally cleaned up my act and have been that way for the last 15 years with much help from others that I finally accepted.
Any way the marriage was so far gone that we were basically roommates and she was ok with that as long as I was there when needed and took care of the house and the bills as I have always done
I started a new job with a very big company and had to work nights for the first year.Now we had no time together at all and it showed. Some women at work were attracted to me and the feeling was mutual but a relationship meant losing my job. I left nights for 2 months and I didn't like it. I actually got much attention on day shift too so I was very well liked at work. I just treated people like people not just a worker so I was getting compliments from women that I never got at home and it definitely felt good.
Now I am out of the house for 2 months and i am happy but the Holidays are really effecting me. So much so I worked Thanksgiving and Volunteered to work X Mas so I don't have to face the wife. I'm going to miss my kids and especially my little Grand daughters whom are the light of my life so I am hoping I get the strength I need to see them all Christmas Day

Thank yo u for letting me share

aimtoplease143 aimtoplease143
51-55, M
Dec 10, 2012