Trying To Be Patient

Three days ago my wife and mother to my two sons told me she wanted to separate until she can get some things with herself sorted out. She has some serious physical obssesive issues that are very unhealthy. She knows this. However the thing that made it all crazy was that she presented the idea after a heated argument. She said I want a divorce. We didn't speak all day and ultimately I decided to pack up and go elsewhere. I miss her so badly and am really worried about her. I have been going through the craziest emotional thoughts. I know she needs help it is just hard to feel like it is not all my fault and everytime I tell her how I feel I am just adding more and more guilt to her over her making the decision in the first place. I love her very much but patience is not something I have ever been known to have. I hoping this separation will ultimatley make our marriage stronger.
jhacker jhacker
31-35, M
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

Day 4 and still no real conversation. We've just been ping-ponging our sons back and forth. It is getting really hard to control my pain. I've been staying with my parents and its getting unbearable. Her plan is to see a therapist for her OCD issues and then plan to see a marriage therapist. She has already set up plans to have separate Christmas for the kids and it has devastated me. Everytime I look at them I lose my mind. I'm trying to be strong for them. I wish she would just talk to me. Tell me why she's not happy and why she feels we cant try to work some of these things out now.

Sometimes you will never know what is going on in in another persons mind. Why they do certain things. It's not easy, it's down right hard and unbearable at times. But I am sorry for your pain and anguish.

Thanks for your words of encouragement Lillyann1234. Her heart has been so hardended by years of pain. It kills me to think she has been this unhappy. I just wish she would open her heart and begin forgiveness. A renewed committment is what I'm am praying for.

Well its officially been a week since my wife and i separated. I can't keep any food down and I keep skipping work. I never miss work. I'm wrecked. We just discussed last night about making it a legal separation that way we clearly stat who should be paying what bills and when who is to have the kids. It is surreal. I asked her on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the best, what is her hopes of us fixing things. She gave it a 5.

Moving back in tomorrow and she is moving out. We are going to share the house for now. Me one week and then her one week. It is a start to compromise. We are just trying to make the best situation for our boys. With some time I am hopeful we can begin to rebuild our marriage. I don't know who reads this crap but it is at least good therapy for me to put myself out there a little.

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