Some Beautiful Thoughts For Some Beautiful People..

sunbaby sunbaby
41-45, F
6 Responses Jan 8, 2013

There are few life experiences that will challenge you the way the ending of a long relationship will. It is very close to a death in the family. I know for me it was like my wife and I became completely different people. We were individuals, but our character, as individuals, was very much informed by our relationship while we were married. When that ended I know I had to figure out how to be a different person to some extent. And I mourned the passing of the self that was a husband. I was proud, and still am, of being married and faithful, for 27 years. I still keep my wedding ring on my key chain as a reminder of the pride I feel in that. It can be VERY difficult to move on, especially when there are kids involved. Of course, it has been my children that have also made the new road much more navigable.

You couldn't have put it any better...or clearer! It is a death and a birth of a whole new person....I have just become somewhat myself again and I too am very proud of being a faithful and fully committed wife and Mother...As the pain lessened I realized I had no regrets... I will always cherish the years we shared and can now feel good about moving forward.

I think the best thing that came of my divorce was finding myself again. it is surprising how, through many years with someone else, no matter how much you cherish your independence, you make the small compromises, or sometimes its just a decision to change something in an attempt to be a better partner. But you end up this other person. Some of it may be for the good (I tried to quit smoking for my wife) and some of it not so good, like the way I spent less time with my siblings because my wife was not particularly fond of them. There were many other choices made through 30 some years together (we were high school sweethearts) that resulted in me losing myself to some extent. That was part of what was wrong with our marriage. Ultimately, she just really wanted me to be someone I was not. It is no surprise that when she ran into a man who was much more the person she wanted me to be, she was drawn to him. Yes, there was and is a lot of anger relate to that. I am trying to forgive her. Its been almost 2 years since the split. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to find out what its like to have someone love me for exactly who I am. That is a pretty damn good feeling! I was always a "till death do us part" kind of person but as I reflect, I wish I had ended our marriage when it dawned on me that she didn't love me. I lost a lot of living because of that stubbornness.

They are really beautiful thoughts. Thank you.

inspiration comes in many forms...glad you enjoyed them!

Beautiful words to light a dark open road....I wonder if I'll ever see the lightt of day...

Hi there....
If it brought even one second of light to you then I am smiling with you!
And.......I certainly hope that rainbows really exist
I know exactly how dark the road can seem some days..... :)

Beautiful pics.....thank you so much

your welcome???

That was nice, your stronger than I am, afraid to take the step out the door because of my daughter 10. I can't imagine not being able to see her everyday.

This was refreshing and very uplifting! Thanks for posting it. I too am recently separated and needed this.

I glad ...
I am struggling so bad still..
and found comfort in theses words....
I hope it did the same for you...

It did. Hope all is well with you.

everyday is a new :)

I am new at this separation thing as well, life is very confusing and difficult for me right now. I really enjoyed that video clip. It gave me some inspiration. Thanks again.

I'm always looking for inspiration these days...
life is "difficult" putting it nicely these
and I'm not sure I'll ever get use to it...
I'm glad you enjoyed it....
even if it helped for only one minute... :)

thanks again, sometimes it helps just writing down your feelings. This site is just what I need right now. My separation is so new. And talking with people without them wanting something in return is great.

I agree. After being burned by my wife... soon to be ex... it's very hard to open up and trust people with anything. Being separated really stinks. I feel lonely, hurt, depressed and ugly. I don't know how to feel about my ex and don't know what to do about the future. At least here I can find people that are in the same boat I am and that provides an outlet.

So true...
I have spent so long being told I'm crazy....
having my feeling diminished and disregarded that is so theraputic to have people who just listen....people who understand!
And writingout your thoughts get them out of your head where you can see them and work through them....
We will get through this together!
Thanks guys!

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