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My Life Has Fallen Apart Right Before My Eyes

Under a year ago I found out that my husband has been having an affair with his ex for years. I put it behind me because I have 3 young children with him. Now yesterday I just found out that my husband for over a year has been trying to get with my daughters gym coach. He did things and said things to the coach and couple of times in front of the children which truly disgusts me. One of the moms had to pull out their daughter from gym cause he kept harassing the mom & asking her if she wants to go to the car with him and she couldnt toleraI him anymore. So then i heard rumors how he was hitting on other women at the beach last summer. One of my friends and her husband came to spend a weekend at the beach with us..today I decided to call her up and asked her if my husband ever made a pass on her and she said yes..he told her if she ever wants to hook up he's available anytime. If you ask me I think he is mentally ill and I really can't stomach him anymore. He get's my kids who are 8,6 &4 and makes them feel sorry for him. He cries like a suck and makes them cry too. Now I feel so much pain for my girls. With everything in me I want to file for separation on Monday but I don't want my kids to suffer anymore.. They have been pulled out of their gym because if he shows his face there they may call the police on him.
An Ep User An EP User 4 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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Do you honestly think it better for your children to have a father like him around ??? He's not even discreet about his ways, either. He'll ruin your family's reputation if you keep sticking with him. Divorce the bum. It's obvious he doesn't respect you ...

I appreciate you being blunt like that... That's what I needed to hear

Your husband has a serious problem. If he can't even stop himself from coming on to women when your kids are around he needs to get help. From a professional and as soon as possible. It doesn't sound like a healthy environment for your kids to grow up in.

I don't know what your plans are but make sure you do what's right for you and your kids.
Take care!

I agree I got to do what's right and put all my emotions aside

What a rotten situation....so very sorry for you and your girls. No easy answers here; you just got to figure out what is more detrimental to your girls, not just right now, but in the future. I wish you and your girls all the best during this difficult time.

Thank you for your input, I don't have many people to talk to and give me an honest opinion. I guess I really need to think about what is beneficial for my children now & the long run

My ex husband cheated on me for over a year with a co-worker. He left me for her and then would regret it. It went back & forth for about 3 yrs. My fault for doing that because I wanted my family back together. I finally stopped giving in to him. But he didn't stop. He continued to pursue me after they got engaged. After they got married. While she was pregnant and after their son was born. They say cheetahs don't change their spots and it was certainly true in his case.

You have an important decision to make so I wish you all the best. Feel free to message me if you want/need to talk or vent.

Take care :)

I appreciate hearing your story it seems very similar to mine I believe these type of men have serious issues and will never change. I do want to believe in mt heart that not every man out there is like this but I just got stuck or we just got stuck with the worst ones. Thanks again for sharing your story it means a lot to me and it just made me feel a little bit stronger :)

I don't know if my ex changed or not. He said he did. The only real change I saw was the extra 50 pounds he put on. He can no longer attract the women he's attracted to so his only choice is to be loyal to his wife (smh). Our daughter is now 20. It's been just the two of us for most of her life (yes, she did see her dad every other weekend & one night during the week). If I truly believed he would be a good man to me and respect our life and the vows we took on our wedding day I would have fought much harder. But I realized that was never going to happen and I just couldn't see me spending the rest of my life always wondering where he was when he wasn't home or if he got home late, you know?

I know there are very good men out there. I hope one day you find one that makes you forget about this chapter in your life right now (hug)

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There are no easy answers in this situation. It seems that either way the children will suffer however you should consider the long term welfare of your children if you stay with him in this relationship. When I was a child I watched my dad simply tolerate my mother's erratic behavior simply because he loved us kids. He spent his entire adult life living miserably with her and we as kids knew this. Sometimes I think maybe we would have all been happier had they not been together.

I think about exactly that everyday... Should I stay and my kids see me be hostle and miserable towards him everyday???? Thanks for sharing your story with me it really gives me reason to go with my gut feeling