Recently Seperated...he Chose Getting High Over Me

Well, I guess I'm here to let off some steam....I have had a relationship with my husband for almost 5 year, 4 of which we were married. We have been together and separated on and off for the 4 years. I've gotten good at being alone. He has children from two other women and I have kids from my first 2 marriages. The last time we were separated he called me everyday and acted like everything was fine, I sent him money, things he needed, etc. Then he just stopped calling for two weeks and I get a phone call out of the blue that he was in love with another woman and she was so good to him and his son, blah know the rest. Well after 2 months he called me back up and wanted to come home. I drove 7 hours to pick him up and thought since I loved and missed him so much that we would be fine. Well, was I ever wrong! After 2 weeks being back I caught him calling her telling him that he was only staying to get our tax refund and that he still loved her. I thought I was going to die!!!! We stayed together and I fought to keep our relationship together. I think she rejected him is the only reason he stayed. Well this woman and he had quite the relationship while they were together, he started using NO2 and smoking pot. For the last year I have battled with him over his anger issues and drug use. Two weeks ago was my breaking point and I drove him back to his hometown and dropped him off hoping he would get his 'stuff' straight so we could actually make a life, and pull it out of the downward spiral it has been in because of him not working and his drug use. I spoke to him the first 3 days he was there and then nothing for a week. I get my usual phone call out of the blue and he states that HE wants a divorce and that he got to thinking about how badly HE was treated and who would want to come home to a wife with a frown on her face....really? wonder why I was frowning. I know I seem to be rambling but I just needed to blow off some steam. I truly love his man even though I know in my head that I am soooo much better off without him, that doesn't help with the feeling of loneliness I am experiencing. Time heals, just wish time would hurry up!!!
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 18, 2013