My Wife Is Leaving Day 2

I am considering giving this letter to my wife. Please be so kind to let me know what you think.

I have taken some time and searched deep inside me and I am sorry for how I have handled the George situation.  I have always been afraid of losing you.  I see all the great parts of you.  The kind, loving, giving, responsible, hard working, beautiful woman that you are.  I could not imagine a more perfect girl than you.   Where you ask why would anybody want to be with me, I ask how could they possibly not want to be with you.

But I cannot control you and your life and feelings.  What I would do and how I feel are sometimes different than what you would do or how you would feel.  Whatever choices you make are up to you.  I can only control my reactions to those choices. 

I choose to trust you.  You have never done anything to give me any reason to not trust you.  I have no reason not to trust you now.  I have been making the situation worse with my reactions.  But no more. 

I am strong and getting stronger.  I have some issues but I am a good man.  I love my wife and my family.  I would do almost anything for the people in my life.  I have worked hard and I am successful.  I am working on making a lot of changes to make me an even better man.  You have seen some of these changes and you know that I am working on others.  I have a beautiful life, one that a lot of people would trade me for in a heartbeat. 

You have trusted me with your feelings, your confusion, your pain.  There is no doubt that it has hurt and I am scared.  I bet that you are hurt and scared too.  This has been the most difficult time in my life.  But I will be OK.  I have accepted the fact that if I don't let you go, you will leave.  I want you to be a part of my life but I want you to want to be there and that means you have to find what makes you happy and whole.

I made a promise to you 15 years ago.  I meant what I said back then.  I will continue to work on fixing our marriage with every ounce of effort I can find.  If it works, the rewards will be worth the tears.  If not, I will still be a better man for putting in the effort.  Plus we have two sons who are innocent victims of our situation.  We have to do the best we can for them always.

 I hope you can find what you are looking for and I hope you can be happy.  I will love you and care for you always and forever. 
Dakota06 Dakota06
36-40, M
6 Responses Jan 25, 2013

go for it give it to her, but not expect nothing in return good luck.i may do the same.

Dont be such a *****,man up and stop grovelling,youve written everything down because youre not sure of anything and would forget most of it otherwise,live for the moment,go fishing,lots of others in the sea,dont you want to feel free again instead of hiding behind her the rest of your life,you have to do whats right for you,not your sons,theyll soon grow up and move on,you should too.

Give yourself some time to work out what you want.

I was in your spot, a lot of guys have been, what worked for me finally was actually becomming happy with who I was, she saw that, saw the effort I put in on myself, and it made her pause but she still spent forever busting my chops with the forever decision thing. I finally said to her, i'm going to make it for you and put you out on the curb if you don't commit to the marriage. So obviously you have to work on your marriage even to get it to that point but the point is, there's a goal here, getting her back, the goal isn't to express every feeling you have even if you have them, the goal is getting her back.

That is assuming you really want that, I'd suggest soul searching on that issue for a week or two, if after that you still want her back then you have to woo her all over again and no one ever won anyone over spilling out their feelings like that.

Stop chasing her, just go dark, give her nothing to go on, silence, leave her be, give her time to maybe miss you a bit.

Give it to her and good luck to you. I hope you get what you want.

Judging from what I am reading she is going anyway so I would give it to her, yes. It is heartfelt, emotional, caring, honest and I guess it must all be true. What have you got to lose? Only your pride and I know I would sooner lose my pride than my partner. Thinking of you through your pain

These are my feelings. I also feel as I have nothing to lose. I thank you for your feedback.

Hold on there a second sure they're your feelings, and your feelings are really only important to you at this moment.

The idea here is to make her think twice, that letter just gave her an open ended invitation to wait and hem and haw forever, no matter what she does you'll be working on it see what I mean?

I'd suggest not sending it and dating someone very quickly, that is if you want her back.