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The Last Of My Stuff

I am getting anxious, tomorrow I go back to get the rest of my stuff. I hope it is not a drama filled couple of hours. My STBX can be such a manipulator. I hope he doesn't try to pull a stunt. He didn't want me to move out, I just needed to get out of the house, the situation, to stop "swimming in it" so to speak. A week later I knew I had made the right decision for me, and that I cannot go back. I just want to get in, get my stuff, turn in the keys. Then we will have to start talking dissolution, the hard legal stuff.
It's been a little over a month, but honestly, it's over. I knew being on my own would show me either it was over, or if I couldn't stand it, that I needed to work on our marriage and try again. Nope, it's over.
It's not that I haven't had a few lonely or pity party days, feeling sorry for myself, but loneliness is not a good reason to go back to a relationship where I was so miserable. I kept myself busy yesterday by getting a manicure and pedicure, so I survived my first Valentines day alone in eight years. It wasn't all that bad.
My therapist has been really encouraging, (well, it is job), and keeps telling me he can see physically, in my face that I am doing better(not looking so gaunt), and that's one way to tell that I've made the right decision. I wish I would have found EP earlier, while I was struggling to make the decision whether to recommit or leave, reading stories, advice from people on this site are just incredible, maybe I wouldn't have felt so alone, and I think I would have come to the same conclusion, maybe a little sooner.
Rachmiel Rachmiel 36-40, F Feb 15, 2013

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