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The Hardest Part

For me the hardest part of being separated are encounters with my wife. Last week we had three unpleasant encounters in one day, two of which were at her instigation. (One was just an unfortunate shopping trip.)

I left because neither of us has a real life, and together things just get worse. I decided I did not to like thin life, nor did I just want to be company for her to drown with. But she resents me for it, which I can understand. What gets me is that every attempt I make to point her in the direction of getting a life of her own is taken as a snub to our relationship, when in fact, if it has a chance, it only has a chance if we can both figure out who stand on our own two feet. I we need one another, we will get lost in each other, or resent each other.

But now I cannot even say that without really ******* her off. And she is jealous of me. I moved into a community setting, where we each have a cabin but share a common kitchen. Tonight she refered to the community as my "Mistress" which is partially true I guess, but it is more a sign that I want, need, and am working for a real life that I can sustain over the next 40 years of my life.

Life is too short to waste it being angry at others for being happy.

AlaskanStranger AlaskanStranger 51-55, M 1 Response May 18, 2009

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I understand. My soon to be ex has said some hurtful things to me because I chose to live my life happy or at least to stop living it unhappy. Its just bad chemistry between us. Two good people can make a bad union. Fight for your happiness.