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Separated For 2 Monthsngn

 I have been married for over 7 1/2 years and have been with my spouse for over 12 years.  We separated one time before we got married and after a few months started dating again.  Our relationship grew stronger than ever and we had a son who is now 7.  2 months ago me and my wife after counseling for almost a year decided it would be better to live apart for awhile.  She thought a month would be good and I elected for 3 months.  We are now coming up on 2 months and it doesn't look good.  I told her I wanted to come back to the house and she has told me she is not ready.  I mentioned that maybe we start dating and move slow and she has told me she is not ready.  She says she is doing the best she has done in years.  I took a big risk moving out thinking that it would be the best thing for both of us and it has turned into a nightmare.  

jtlmusic jtlmusic 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 26, 2009

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Just a question here ... are you still pouring money into this pit? Or is she paying the bills where she is and you paying where you are? I'd wager that you are footing the bills and are now seen as a checkbook and not much more.

I'm not overly concerned yet. I've found a new love in my heart that did not exist 30 days ago. My brother and his wife separated for a year and got back together and are happily married today. My aunt and uncle got divorced and remarried a few years later. Another good friend of mine got separated from his wife for 18 months and they got back together and are happily married today. My mom and dad separated for 6 months and got back together, out of the 4 cases above they are the only ones that are not together today. This was a last ditch effort to try and save my marriage. My behavior for the first 30 days while we were separated was intolerable and pushed my wife away. Now I am hoping to win her back through loving actions, as love is not a feeling, but an action. I predict that in 3 to 6 months we will be back together again.

I am so very sorry. I was married, still until it is final, for 31 years to my best friend. I feel your pain and frustration. I too wanted to come home and was told no. My first husband was told the same after it was suggested he move out and give his 23 year marriage a time out and begin to date. She filed for divorce and he never was able to go back.<br />
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I hope not to come across as doom and gloom but I do hope it turns out better for you then it did for my first ex and my current husband and I. My 31 year marriage one I thought could with stand anything and anyone will never be again.<br />
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My first husband and I have been friends for years and it feels so wonderful. You have a young child, keep this in mind as the relationship takes it form. Do what is best for the child and that little person knows they are loved by both! Work it out whichever way it goes, as you set this little person's future out for a start on life, love and what relationships are and should be. Loving and trusting!<br />
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Keep in touch. I will follow and blessings to you and your family.<br />
rainpebble16

You never work out things as a couple when you are apart, never......Good Luck.....