Not Perfect, But I Try

So, I’m the creative, artsy, sensitive type. And, I do a lot of graphic work for various businesses. I admit that I don’t take criticism very well. Oh yes, I’m also pretty ‘type-a’ and assertive. You can see where this might go, and, when I was younger... Actually, I would have said some clever, scathing remark that would have ended the disagreement *and made me feel temporarily better*, but not in a pleasant way. The problem is, no matter how much righteous fury I feel in the moment and how good it feels to really let someone have it, I always feel like a **** afterwards. I’ve come to the conclusion that I prefer feeling upset by something someone has said/done to me, rather feeling upset because I am disappointed in myself for acting like a *****.

Am I still sensitive? Oh yes. But I’ve also found that, if I suck it up, it usually ends in a way that makes everyone happy, including me. I do slip up occasionally, but I think I’m getting better. I feel terrible any time I am the reason someone feels hurt. That said, I’m not afraid to defend myself if the situation calls for it, but I still try to do it in a way that doesn’t cause undue torment.
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May 13, 2012