After All, I Am His Lover Part One

Him: maybe later tonight before I can get on
 but will let you know

~ Chat with Milky, her at sea level, him at 37,000 feet, 16 January 2013

When I read that, something in me snapped.  I'd be goddamned if I was going to wait.  He'd frightened me, you see.  I needed reassurance, and I needed it soon.  So I replied to him pretty sharply, with a directive that would not bear disobedience.

It's a funny thing being involved with a Dom.  Most of the time, I submit quite happily, the loving pleaser inside of me eager to do whatever he wishes, not challenging his lead.  But I come from a long line of very strong women who have guided their menfolk in some things even as we've sought to take good care of them, normally content to play a second in command role.  Both of my grandmamas were like that, and so was my mom.  We are not shy about letting those we love know that we love them, and if we need something, we usually make our needs known.

He and I were chatting while he was seated in first class and I was in my kitchen.  The miracle of modern technology afforded by the internet is that two people with crazy high sex drives and complementary slightly exotic tastes can cross paths, click, and converse as naturally as if they were in the same room with each other.  All at a distance of two to three thousand horizontal miles, and - even more astounding - of 37,000 or so vertical feet.  Gotta love airline wifi.

I love chatting about sex with him because he's got such an intellectual approach to it, analyzing what turns him on and what makes him tick even though some of it is pretty simple.  He tells this **** to *** for him and she does.  Just as Handsome Actor can riff about the motivations of his characters, though, J can dissect the elements of his own performance pretty thoroughly.  And we've thrown some new stuff into the mix by introducing the pegging thing, so he's processing that a lot these days, mentally preparing to take it up the *** from me.  He wants this to be a success even more than me, I think, so he's been researching, looking at tumblrs to evaluate what makes him hard and what leaves him cold.  And he's communicating clearly to help me know how to proceed.  My leading man is also a director.  Or at least codirector.  Ultimately, if I tie him down and poke my **** in his ***, I think that qualifies as directing the act.

Him: you like to *** as a submissive girl/woman
me: I do, yes
Him: good.....
me: although...I suspect I'm going to enjoy ******* while ******* you, too
  the common link to it is You

Him: yes......I love to let you have that side
  the domme with her ****
  I do not give that to anyone
  or ever have
  you must know this

me: I do, J
  I'm so excited that you're willing
  you've no idea

Him: it is not a submissive feeling for Me
it is seeing your excitement
  and I think it will feel pretty ******* good if we do it right
  but I can never be a sub my dear
  just is not Me

 me: I don't want a sub, J
  I want You
  I want to make You feel wonderful
 and I think that could be a great way to do it

 Him: agreed
 me: the **** will empower me
 Him: I look at the pegging pics
 me: but You still retain control
 Him: and soooooo many
 me: yes?
 Him: are of skinny boys
  being ****** senseless
  very sub
  I do not enjoy that look or feel
  but I have read
  a lot about the feelings
  and the ****
  of being pegged
  and it does sound fun
  and intense

 me: darling....
  so many of the D/s pics are of skinny girls
  very young
  bony creatures
  I am neither young nor bony

 Him: yes....
  btw
  heading down
  will lose the signal in 10 minutes or so

 me: thanks for letting me know
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
Jan 16, 2013