Not Even Close!

I do admit, that I am not highly attractive. I am passable, at the most. This is a step up from where I had once saw myself. I saw myself as Quasimodo, locked away in a tower (aka: my room), a disgrace to look at.

This is due to everyone telling me so, since age 7 until... the last time was in May 2008. I don't have perfect teeth and people make fun of me for it. They say that I am ugly, because of it too. And the last time someone made fun of my smile was late October 2008. I can't help but to remember the recent dates, and all the mean laughter and name-calling of the past too, because it's painful to me still. :-/

BUT, I began to see myself as passable... when I noticed eyes staring at me! Those of men! And not looks of horror and annoyance... but lustful looks! Eep! So, I am at least attractive in this way... though, I stay away from those who I can tell are undressing me with their eyes! SCARY! :-o

deleted deleted
26-30
3 Responses Mar 10, 2009

Yeah, I know what it's like to feel like you are a monster for a while and realize , even for a second, you might even be cute. I've hated my natural, wavy brown-blond hair, but one morning I woke up and I (almost regretfully XD) looked in the mirror and went, whoah, and practically called my natural self cute lol maybe it's not what I'm trying to be, but it does fell good to...feel good about myself for one second to get the pressure off.

I think "possible for wholesome guys to pay attention and think you are physically appealing" would be a better choice of words. I don't think a truly wholesome guy would ever find you useless merely by looking at you. They are cooler than that :)

I am very happy to hear that you are starting to come to terms with your looks and that you're not hiding like Quasimodo anymore. But I'm sure you are aware that you don't need to be an ob<x>ject of lust before you can love yourself. I think loving yourself makes it easier to gain attention from those guys who don't go around undressing women with their eyes and who are not just looking for a "piece of meat" :)