Why Can't She Understand That?

I made a stupid mistake and I asked someone for help. I was aware of the fact that I had no talent and simply wasn't a witch. I thought maybe there could be a way to change that so I asked this woman for help.

In our discussions she eventually came to the conclusion that I am a witch and she absolutely will not let go of that conviction. She doesn't even understand the problem and she thinks I'm the one who doesn't understand. If she doesn't know what the real problem is how can she help?

I realize now that even if she did understand there would be no way to help. Still, it's frustrating. I'm not sure why I continue to talk to her but maybe it's because I hope she's right.

I know she's not right. I used to think exactly what she thinks so I tested it. I tried various things and came to the conclusion that I just couldn't. I didn't succeed and those repeatedfailures stand as evidence to the contrary of what she is saying. I also understand now that I was trying to manipulate something I couldn't even perceive. How can you work with something you can't perceive? You can't because you don't know what's really going on.

So now I know she's wrong but I still wish she was right because she is telling me what I want to hear.

I always get extremely frustrated with people who do that because it raises a red flag and makes it hard for me to believe them but at the same time I still wish it were true.

Her conviction surprised me and frustrated me. How could she not change her mind. I asked her and this is what she said:

That is my talent - one of them anyway. I am a FACILITATOR - which I think I said was hard to explain. It essentially means in part I am a teacher of the talented and those with special abilities. I have ALWAYS done this.

So the simple answer? I just know. I never question that - never have It's what I do - I know instantly if a person is 'one of us' or is a poser or simply mistaken. You are genuine, you are questioning, but you are genuine.

Whew - let me add a little more maybe. My people always guide me on this. They tell me how much to reveal and how much to keep quiet about. My CRAFT is very closed. Actually it is virtually impossible to go against their instructions without paying a severe penalty - but I cannot go into that.

So if I reveal something to you? It's what you are supposed to know. THAT is what being a facilitator is.

And think of it this way - I rarely if ever solicit people. All of them are sent to me. You came to me if I remember correctly. So you are supposed to be evaluated and taught by me. That is my best understanding. And you are certainly not the first, and probably not the last, so that in itself makes me laugh! I am being used as a source to help you.

Grin - no hunch - just what it iz!


I'm extremely frustrated. I question whether she is even real and I know many other people have had the experience of a bad/fraudulent/misinformed teacher. I think I should stop talking to her.

She has no reason to lie but maybe she is the one who is mistaken? This whole thing is pulling on my heartstrings. It is very emotional because I am starving from curiosity.

That's the whole issue. I am in pain precisely because I am not a witch which is why I was desperate enough to wonder if she could help me.

I know she is wrong but the implication is that I will starve for the rest of my life. If I am right I will miserable from hunger pains until the day I die. If she is right then there is a way out and I don't  have to starve to death.

That doesn't matter because I know she is wrong and I absolutely hate it when people think I'm something I'm not. I am losing patience for this frustrating BS.
chrysalid chrysalid
18-21, F
May 7, 2012