Just The Opposite.I am not good at making friends. Not real friends who want to hear my story and tell me theirs, and then maintain a friendship that evolves into regular supportive communication.
I have been a member of EP. for approximately 16 months now, and my circle of friends is still very small, smaller right now because I just dropped several circle members who.......well, were just that, circle members.
I wonder if I expect too much from my friends. I only expect to get as much as I give, and I have given heart and soul to many people on this site.
I, like every other member, have my own reasons for being here, and things that I want from my experience here, and things I would prefer to avoid.
I have explained many times what I consider a good friend, and I have found a small group of circle members who seem to naturally respond to
me and the friendship I offer.
I have described how I would like to have a circle of 20 friends who see EP. friendship in much the same way that I do. I know that they exist. I have a few very definite ones in what is left of my circle. I have also had several others who fitted the bill perfectly, but sadly have either left EP. or for whom real life has happily become much more fulfilling, for the latter group I am truly happy. I grieve the loss of the friends who i've lost in the former group.
I have easily met twenty people or more here on EP. who would make that perfect 20, just never all at the same time.
What spurred me to write this post, was taking a look around my circle, and realising just how many members were just dead weight.
I feel a little sad that my circle is now so reduced, but the ex members were never going to enhance my dream of 20 so what can be done, I don't blame the dropped circle members. They did no wrong and were all nice enough people, we were just never really a match, that happens, I thank them all for at least giving me a try.
What is a little eerie about all this, is that EP. is beginning to mirror real life.
So many friends passed away, so many lost in the confusion of life's traumas, and upheavals. will I, as in real life be left with just one Nigel?
And if I am, will it be my fault for having unrealistic expectations?
The problem here is, I am not a superficial person. I struggle with meaningless chit chat, I find it shallow, and tiresome. Let's be honest, if that was what any of us were looking for we'd be on Facebook not EP.
As in RL I shall carry on, as long as there are a handful of Nigels in my circle I will continue with my experience project.
Having read through this post, it sounds very doom laden. If I were a surfing member of EP. I don't think I would hang around.
There is none of my usual humour in this post, no upbeat message, no little jokes or innuendo's. I would like to think not a lot of the usual Ari.
So please, if you know me, make a positive comment, to encourage surfing members to read some of my other stuff. just to get a balanced view.
Who knows they may be the missing MAGNIFICENT 7.
AlmostAristotle 61-65, M 10 Responses 8 Jul 10, 2012