I Am Not Afraid of Being Alone
I'm not just putting on a brave face, or lying to myself that I'm okay on my own. I truly feel this way.
If I were afraid to be alone, I would be living in a state of perpetual fear and anxiety, because I spend a lot of time alone. So I've learned that it's not fatal. Boring at times, yes. Painful at others. But there's an entire world of possibilities and learning experiences out there. I figure if I'm bored with myself, it's my own damn fault. And if I don't yet know how to do something for myself, I can always learn.
Being an introvert, I actually need my time alone in order to recharge. I do love to socialize, but it requires a lot of energy on my part, and I usually go home feeling tired afterward. I need moments to be totally on my own to think and brood. Then I feel like I can face another day.
I've never understood the idea of needing others all the time, because I've stubbornly gone out of my way to not need anybody (as much as possible). Complete self-sufficiency is my ultimate goal, but I don't know how realistic it is.
And I've never understood the people in my life that never seem to be able to be alone. If a friend's boyfriend is out of town for a week, she's calling me up because she's lonely and needs something to do. If I were in her place, I would be thinking, "Sweet! I have the house to myself for a week!"
I don't know why I adopted this stubborn "me facing the world alone" attitude, but I know it was at a fairly early age. And it seems to suit me.
I enjoy and appreciate the people in my life, but I don't require them to always be there. Because I know that they can't, and won't always be there. There will always be those times in my life where I'll have to face the crucible alone. And I try to be prepared for those times by not being overly needy.
Because you never know when those times will strike.
If I were afraid to be alone, I would be living in a state of perpetual fear and anxiety, because I spend a lot of time alone. So I've learned that it's not fatal. Boring at times, yes. Painful at others. But there's an entire world of possibilities and learning experiences out there. I figure if I'm bored with myself, it's my own damn fault. And if I don't yet know how to do something for myself, I can always learn.
Being an introvert, I actually need my time alone in order to recharge. I do love to socialize, but it requires a lot of energy on my part, and I usually go home feeling tired afterward. I need moments to be totally on my own to think and brood. Then I feel like I can face another day.
I've never understood the idea of needing others all the time, because I've stubbornly gone out of my way to not need anybody (as much as possible). Complete self-sufficiency is my ultimate goal, but I don't know how realistic it is.
And I've never understood the people in my life that never seem to be able to be alone. If a friend's boyfriend is out of town for a week, she's calling me up because she's lonely and needs something to do. If I were in her place, I would be thinking, "Sweet! I have the house to myself for a week!"
I don't know why I adopted this stubborn "me facing the world alone" attitude, but I know it was at a fairly early age. And it seems to suit me.
I enjoy and appreciate the people in my life, but I don't require them to always be there. Because I know that they can't, and won't always be there. There will always be those times in my life where I'll have to face the crucible alone. And I try to be prepared for those times by not being overly needy.
Because you never know when those times will strike.
By:
ARestlessSoul
Age:
26-30
