My Own Pumpkin To Sit On Than A Crowded CouchFor countless years, growing up through childhood and even joining religion, which I recently broke free from - there was such a huge pressure to be with people all the time always doing things "a bunch of busy bodies". Which when i tried to engage I felt torn because as much as it pleased others being with others and I loved the appreciation i received from others, I felt I was cheating on myself not being who I was. But after a while of doing the same routine facade bullshit especially in church, it really forced me to cut the **** and be honest with myself. Once I started to think for myself, I found that it was OK to be solitary.
I am not a complete recluse as I have a wife and son, acquaintanceship, and a job that requires talking to people all day. I like people but i like them from a distance. Especially in today's society, its a madhouse of crazy business in everything with everyone. This is the extrovert addiction, full of needy winning dramatic others. As I spent more time cultivating who I was, I found myself to be the best company. I don't have to say things I don't feel like or do things I don't want to. Of course I give time to my wife and son, and family every once in a blue moon ( I'm known as the son 'outlaw') .
I spend most my time alone after work journaling, listening to music, taking baths, going for walks through nature or the marina. I caught my wife calling me "anti social" a couple times, but I told her that I am not at all anxious around people, I just prefer not to be with others most the time. I am not at all depressed or worried or bipolar just independent- I think it's because I know myself and have a rich inner world that stems from this that I like to engage more so with than being about others business.
I see life in its simplicity and contentment and live this way. Being about ones own company is a lost art nowadays. On a scale from 1 to 10 I would rate myself pretty high in the solitary lifestyle scoring a 9. How do you rate yourself friend? Are you a peninsula?
soliare 26-30, M 0 May 14, 2012