My First Real Relationship

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for six months.

ever since I was little I have always been super jealous.

I have always watched my mom yell at my step dad and get into huge arguments about a situation where another woman was involved.

even if if my step dad and the woman weren't sexually or even friendly involved.

My mother would get wicked jealous and cause a huge immature scene.

sometimes I think because this has happened I am the same way.

but that's not completely accurate to blame my mother. is it?

I can't even stand when he goes into a pharmacy store and the cashier employ at the front is making flirty conversation and he doesn't.

I can't stand it.

I trust him, but sometimes I just get so territorial. cause he's mine and no one elses.

It drives me insane. a lot of the time I just  make a rude remark  to him or make fun of the girl

but recently it has been going on for quite some time. and he actually told me. sat me down and told me

that if I didn't start changing or

managing my jealousy that we weren't going to work out. and to be honest that actually makes me feel like our relationship wont work out at all. why

should I have to change who I am and how I strongly and immaturely feel?

mewchocolate1 mewchocolate1
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 8, 2010

I'd like to put the spotlight on why you feel jealousy is part of who you are. Jealousy is not part of anybody, it only feels like it is. No one is born with jealousy, they learn it. Which means it can be changed. This leads to the question, is it your mother's fault. Yes and no. Your mother had the power and the ability to know that what she does you would pick up. Children learn by mirroring their parents and you learned her jealousy. But on the other hand, you are old enough to not take on what your mother taught you. <br />
<br />
Here's how I see it. You have two options: Hold on to the idea that jealousy is who you are and lose your boyfriend and possibly other people in your life or become aware of all the times you're jealous, try to change and keep the man you love. From what I've read, he will be very patient with you if you make an attempt. <br />
Bottom line: Jealousy only hurts yourself and others. Don't take on the mistakes your mother made. No one has jealousy written into their DNA. You can escape it. Change won't be easy, but you will be much happier for doing it.

Oh, and that word covered in stars was supposed to be a 3 some lol

I think being TOO envious is a little over board, but you shouldn't change the way you are.<br />
Possibly, it is a good thing that you are. At least you aren't too lose, and don't tolerate anything<br />
<br />
I am a little envious myself, and sometimes I go a little over board. As a little girl, I would envy my mother's friend and my older half sister because they were spending more time with my mother than I; her daughter. I would even cry.<br />
But now, I get jealous with friends and my current boyfriend. <br />
Like, when peers I do not know who befriend my best friend talk to her, I feel left out and a little jealous. Even with my best friend's cousin.<br />
I know what you mean by being "territorial" also.<br />
I am also in "my first real relationship." With the guy I am with right now, I actually give a damn about him, unlike my past two ex's. I didn't really feel for them. <br />
I actually love this guy and miss him when we don't talk even for a few hours.<br />
He hasn't fooled around with anybody and focuses his attention on me when he can.<br />
But anyways, about your "jealousy" problem. Others may see it as a problem, but I think you can see it as a good thing. I think our jealousy could mean we can't be in an open or lose relationship, or even maintain a friend with benefits because you wouldn't be able to handle the fact that they can fool around with somebody else other than you.<br />
I think us two, my friend, are the kind of people who can't stand being in a ********* XD <br />
haha take care hun xoxo