My fiance is getting on my last nerve!  He was actually living with a family member and since we moved here, we rented a house.  He doesn't do ANYTHING except go to work and maybe twice a week take off the garbage.  It seems that he expects me to do everything and I am becoming very resentful; almost to the point of breaking it off.  I only ask him to do little things and he can't even do that!  I work a full-time job, have a daughter to raise (alone because he works 2nd shift), dinner to cook, help with homework, 2 dogs to take care of, laundry, cleaning, etc.........  I love him but tired of being a maid.

CancerCutie CancerCutie
41-45, F
3 Responses Mar 20, 2007

I know exactly how you feel !!! Ive had heart to hearts with him and asked him for more help.. Ive come to realize that if they cant love and respect us enough to give a helping hand once in a while then they are not worth it. I watched my grandma slave for her husband (my grandpa) and I always swore I would never be that wife.

"I love him but......"<br />
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If I had a penny for every time I heard that. And here's my stock answer: But does he love you too? If he does, he wants to make you happy. Sounds like he's failing in that respect. I have a very blunt way of dealing with stuff like this, and almost 30 years of happy marriage to offer as my credentials for its success.<br />
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"When you do X it upsets me, and I don't understand why you want to upset me. "<br />
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Then leave him to think about it, he may not have an answer straight away.

When you say "it seems", it makes it sound like you don't actually *know*? You have sat down and had a genuine heart-to-heart on the matter, haven't you? :) It sounds like he hasn't grown up properly yet, and has no idea about shared responsibilities.