Run And Hide

For the love of god will everyone stop calling me smart. I don't get it even when I meet new people they jump straight to the your smart line. It kind of puts up a barrier and I have trouble making friends because of it. I am not intelligent I just don't watch crap television shows or sports I read. It is my form of escapism. Everytime I hear that line I want to...
Morgendorffer Morgendorffer
22-25, M
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

I feel the same way. Every time someone tells me I am smart even after I've done pretty much nothing, I either
1) get really irritated - because the person makes immediate assumptions about me from what other people have said without even knowing me
2) or I get really anxious - because I feel like I have an expectation to meet

I felt like they were defining who I was for me. I felt excluded from everybody else. They make me feel like I am too good for them or that I am better than them in some way even though I'm not. I don't have friends. I'm not particularly friendly or social - what exactly made me a good person. What made me smart?

And the thing is when I don't do so well in test and I don't get the best grades, I beat myself up over it because I feel like I didn't meet their stupid expectations and that I should have done really well. I felt like smart was all I could be. Crazy right? I know.

I just don't get it though. What did I do? I mean, it's not hard to listen in class and actually absorb what the teacher is teaching and actually learn something. It's like once they hear you get a good grade they immediately label you as smart. They don't realize that you have good times and bad times just like them. I hate that label so much.

But my advice to you is: never let other people's words define you. They try to make themselves feel better by ostracizing someone they believe to be better than them. But don't conform to it, ignore it. Don't become proud or big-headed (like I did). Stay humble and most importantly keep working hard - and not for anyone else but yourself.

(Sorry about the emotional outpouring of my soul here. I needed to get this off my chest.) ^ ^