I Just Want to Be Normal Again!


I take my medications (all 10 of them) most every day.  They're mostly antidepressants, but some are for anti-anxiety, some are for sleep, and one is for my seizures.  I'm just not happy.  I'm fat and grumpy.  I "stare off into space" a lot according to those around me. Is this the kind of life I want to live?  No, I don't think so.  Before meds I was a smart, vibrant young woman.  Now I can't remember crap.  I can't handle a simple job.  My brain has turned to mush.

The reason I went on medications was because of an Eating Disorder.  Medications have only caused the Eating Disorder to become worse.  I may be fat now, but the thoughts are worse now.

I asked my therapist if going off meds would be a good idea, just out of curiousity, and she is staunchly against it.  She said that I would have a hell of a withdrawal from my medications and that I would be worse off afterwards.  I do not think so.

I don't want to be on meds anymore.  I just want to be normal again!
Licorice Licorice
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 16, 2007

Being fat is not the end of the world, in fact "fat" ladies are pretty sought after. Look up the play "My Fat Friend". Is your preception of yourself causing the depression. Do you know how you would like to be? Do you visualise yourself thin. I know that sounds off the wall but it works, I know. I've yoyo'd most of my life. Being Bi-polar didn't help. I couldn't bear to look in a mirror, I had enormous boobs. If you want more info on visualisation let me know. I use affirmations and visualisation every single day to keep strong because I still don't like myself much and have to constantly remind myself that I'm wonderfu, and so are you. Maybe you might see a different doctor?

I am not recommending that you do so but I've been on meds twice before and stopped b/c they made me feel like a zombie. They don't help me feel less depressed, they make me feel like more of an introverted weirdo. I would suggest that you taper off your meds if you do it. Don't just stop taking everything all of a sudden. That can be a shock for your body. I would suggest seeing a different doctor if you can and getting into therapy where you can talk about things. The pharmaceutical industry has most of the psych's in their hands meaning they have these doc's believing that pills will fix people's problems. I know pills will never solve my problems, only communication with myself and my fellows.