Tell Me Who You Are!

And thank you as well.. for fanning and for the compliments :)

I am not very good at the whole chat thing lol.. in that, I mean that I have not been in the habit of chatting here and Im not even sure how it works or where the button is! lol :)

I usually use this as a forum of expression. I had an old account that was more revolving around the reason as to Why and How I found EP and the EX that I found here and oh... I had lots of stories that I deleted as I no longer wished those stories to follow me. I had a profile Perlesque at first... and so now this one is completely just for me and for meeting new friends here. Ive met only 1 man from here a year ago. But it was not something I wished to pursue further. We remain friends and he is engaged and living in another city. Other than that, I have not met anyone else and I would like start by getting to know you first... how and where do u wish to chat?

Why don't you write something about how you came upon this?
What brought you to EP?
What are you seeking?
Tell me what ended and what is starting over in your life. What happened in your life?
I enjoy exploring the deep corners of your mind!
Tell me who you are!
Then we will talk :)))
I am an artistic soul, spiritual and I love the intellect. I work in legal services and I have 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters.
I am an intelligent, strong woman, mother, grandmother.
I am starting over in life. A new Page.. A New Chapter

NOW.... Tell me who you are.

SexxxyLeopard SexxxyLeopard
46-50, F
3 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Thanks for your honesty and sharing. I'm 100% honest in every way on EP because I really want one place where I can be so. My pics are real, my stories are real (except for a couple fictional ones I've posted, but I've included a caveat at the end of the story saying it's just a fantasy), and all the groups I've joined reflect me truly. I'm a little too sex-centred right now with my postings on EP (because I'm struggling with bi-confusion), so I've had to be careful not to accidentally join a group that reflects my fantasies rather than reality. But hopefully I'll come around to sharing other aspects of my personality as well. I just want to share the real me and thus be a friend to others. But my original motivation for joining EP was to find help in figuring out my sexuality, which, even in a few short months, I'm now closer to understanding.

Though I'm also 50 like you, I've had a very different life so far (in addition to being a guy), though we do have some similarities. I've never been married, though I've never given up the strong wish to share my life with a woman. I have no children, which saddens me somewhat, especially for not giving the joy of grandchildren to my parents. Though I'm a computer programmer by trade, I'm very spiritual and have spent most of my life on self-reflection and being of help to others. I have, like you, struggled with depression--actually most of my life. But I'm fortunate to have been symptom-free for more than a year now, though I still struggle with a different anxiety disorder from yours--OCD. I'm currently on disability support for that, so I understand your current situation somewhat. Though I was raised Catholic I've been a Buddhist since 1995 (though that's not necessarily a contradiction). It has helped me understand that true happiness comes from within--though that is still a work in progress.

My tastes are varied, from science, technology and science fiction, to philosophy, romantic comedies and outdoor activities (including naturism at times, like you). I hope everything works out for you personally and for your girls, especially your youngest, in health and life.

Thanks for asking.

I came upon you while reading through other peoples experiences and your Avatar caught my attention, nothing more than that.

I came upon this site by accident, I was doing yahoo questions, which i really loved doing, I was bored and liked the mental exercise of the research, making it understandable and writing a response, and one of my searches led me to this site. I have been here going on 4 years. My daughter was going through a divorce, me being divorced, the wife having been divorced, it put us back into those emotional states and I found myself reliving those moments in my life, and I started dredging up all the old memories, plus two years of therapy. This was a good place to dump and decrease the inner turmoil so I could help keep things on an even keel here as best I could.

What I continue to seek here is contact, just plain old human contact. about 2 years ago, the wife was laid off just before Christmas, she was given 6 months severance and full retirement. She was still hurt by the layoff, but 8 days later she was called by another division and offered a job, and she could keep her severance package and work drawing both paychecks, they would not let her continue to draw retirement. Darn huh? :-)
Anyhow, she went back to work. She was passed over for a directorship and was hurt by that, but she got a call from her boss, her bosses boss and the company CFO at home. They wanted her to become the corporate financial troubleshooter. It would mean a lot of travel, probably long periods away from the office here which meant away from home. It meant a raise, much greater responsibility and a level of professional recognition that she had always sought. She asked me if she could, how could I say no. So I agreed, this was October of 10. She has proved her worth in the position across several divisions she has found nearly 70 Million in billing errors now, fixed and restructured some of the accounting systems, found errors in several others and has improved relations with the customer on problem contracts. All of this, and I have sat here waiting for her to come home. I retired on 12/31/11 so I am not working except at the farm, and winter is a terrible time to get out for things. ( I am sure you are familiar with this :-)) The longest time we have had together since this started was during my surgery, I had a knee replaced and she was home for a whole week. The Dr said if I didn't have someone here, I was going to have to go to a nursing home. The thought still makes me sick to my stomach. I am glad she could come home.

It is not so much an ending of something as a beginning. I have begun retirement, I had all these great plans which have fallen through. I had planned a tour of Africa, from Egypt to South Africa, but all the things going on there made the trip unwise, plus, with wife's new job, she could never get the time. Building our home at the ranch is on an indefinite hold. Just really stuck in the middle right now, can't go forward or go back.

What has happened in my life. That is a really long story. I will give you the event that caused me the most problems. The divorce of my parents. When my father left, he left us in a strange town, no car, no money and no way back to family. I remember my mom trying to commit suicide and I walked in on her. She started sobbing and holding me, I remember being soaked by her tears, my hair wet, my shirt wet and held to her body, wanting to do something to make her feel better and she kept crying over and over again, never hurt a woman, never hurt a woman. I was the oldest, I was 10 and I became the caregiver for my brothers and sisters. Anything the other kids did, it was my fault for allowing it, if anything was not right when she got home, the tears again, the hurt, fear and sadness in her eyes, I had become the cause of her hurt and tears. During this time I was also trying to sort out feelings on my rape by one of the farm hands. I never told anyone until I was 48, long time to hold in something like that, but, something had happened which made my shame less important than what was about to occur. This still makes a lot of my instinctive behavior but I am not a slave to it as I once was. I have learned how to control my response and avoid the situations where my lack of attention to a woman may cause her hurt or sadness.

Me, my career advanced from technician, to engineer, to scientist, and I did it all without a degree, so I would classify my self as smart, and creative. I have always been able to see solutions others have not using the materials at hand. I spent 7 years teaching electronics both in industrial and at the community college level. Another strength is getting agreement across disparit parties by listening closely to what is said, put it in the context of the speaker and by reading body language. Putting these items together it has made some of the things I have done in my career simple while impressing others. My greatest compliment came from a supervisor while I was running the engineering lab, he said "You are the most creative person I have ever met in my life". This lead to my being given projects which had been taken away from engineers because of cost, time or just simply not getting the results needed.

We have 3 kids between us, 1 hers, 2 mine, 2 grandkids.

Guess that is about it, there were a lot of things left out that went into making me.
I am not looking for a relationship as I already have one which i will not leave or consider terminating. But, I do enjoy the discourse with others in this safe environment and I am not really picky on subject. We will never meet, I do not have any desire to meet anyone and see the look in their eyes when they think of what I have shared. I did with one person once and the look was something I do not want to see again.
I just find that the occasional soul searching keeps me on track and avoiding problems.

Lastly, you might find this funny, I actually scored an 87 female on the 'I wtk the gender of your brain" I retook the test and change some of the answers to get a lower score bringing me to a 73. As unique as this site is I still have people on here I really like talking to and find this value emberrasing. :-) What a dipshit huh?

I heard you could not chat anymore so my neighbor tells me. hes the one who introduced me to ep.
i saw your picture of the hand touching a leg. looks very sensual. i am seeking human contact i feel we all need that. my wife is what happened she has had a few strokes and i miss her yacking to me all the time so now i yack to her and to ep. She was a very sexual woman she loves life and all its pleasures. she has made me who i am. bi. she is bi to.
my stories are about her mostly. just heard from a neighbor who knows me and helps me with my wife when needed about ep. and i am home here. soon to share pictures of myself when i know ep better. i have 2 children son and daughter.5 grandkids 4 girls 1 boy. thats me. richie