Iits Hard Not Having Friends, But Its Even Harder Making Friends

i hate not having friends, and not being able to conversate with others , it tears me up inside, it haunts me like a ghost in the nite. it  sickens me like food i just ate, it makes me cry like im at a funeral. it really, really hurts. but why is it so dam hard for me to just do it . why, why, why. i also refuse to to keep going like this. this is not the type of life i imagine. when i look around, people out there have friends, they conversate, they have strong relationships. it scares the hell out of me  to let someone in, to let them get close to me, and to know me. it  frightens me for someone to know me. but i want friends so badly. i want to know someone, and i wish someday i will let others know me.

diamondprincess01 diamondprincess01
31-35, F
7 Responses Mar 23, 2009

that's very true with me also.

it sucks i'm going through the same thing right now. i guess the older we get the harder it gets. i depressed most of the time not giving the love I have. it's when i try to make friends people kinda blow me off

thanks, smtblkgrl u are also my friend, thanks.

Personally, I know that I have suffered from severe anxiety and severe depession for better than twenty years so I know how you feel. <br />
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I have felt better recently but right now just going through some weird feeling of being totally alone once again, which i have from time to time. I still worry if people judge me from time to time but often say....to myself, i don't care if they do ..im a decent person..so whatever. <br />
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I don't have a single friend anywhere and have taken to shutting down emotionally so i can function daily. Guess i just wanted to say i know how you feel.... I am trying to feel better.

thanks guys u both are becoming friends to me.

I have to concur with loneranger. A forum like this is a good way to gradually build up friendships with people at your own pace. I know what it's like to feel "friendless", I'm currently living that reality and it IS hard sometimes. The funny thing is, I had many friends through high school, but eventually they drifted away and I haven't replaced them with new ones. It is scary to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open up, but if you can go at your own pace and still move forward, then it will gradually become easier. And when it happens, you'll thank yourself for having taken the risk.

its not always easy to trust people and let them into our lives. I can tell you though that EP is a good place to start. most people on here are pretty friendly here. just keep posting some stories about yourself and reply to others. you'll find there are some interesting people on here