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Sep 12th, 2007
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used to be very outgoing and i had many friends in highschool. but my freshman and sophomore years i drank heavily. i guess that was a big contributor to why i had so many friends.
in 11th and 12th grade i was slowly ending my friendship with alcohol and starting a new affair with drugs. to date i've done 7 drugs, but my fave would have to be speed, methanphetamine. as i did that i gained a new boyfriend, i lost many friends from school, but i had a few new friends that i did speed with. when i was high i was extremely outgoing and had tons of fun. i lost weight and gained a lot of self esteem.
once i quit, it must have ****** something up in my brain cause i am now extremely antisocial. i only have about 3 good friends, with whom i rarely talk to. i'm always too worried to meet new people. i'm too busy wondering if they are gonna like me or not.
i rarely leave my house, i guess i'm just comfortable here. i seriously need to learn to get out more. my kids are the ones suffering. i rarely take them to the park, or anywhere for that matter. i'm always worried i'll have to speak to another person. for instance, if caty makes a new friend, i'll have to meet the parents of the other kid. and i just dont want to.
luckily joe, my husband, keeps me sane by forcing me to leave the house and do sociable stuff. except he keeps pestering me to go to the doctor and get put on zoloft. he says i'm just like the little bean in those stupid commericals.
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  | Posted Sep 12th, 2007 at 9:58AM i know what you mean. i'm hesitant to join those playdate groups, for fear that the other mothers will judge me. it seems to be a competition among some people today- who's the best mother. when instead, we should be offering each other support and looking past our differences.   |
 | Posted Sep 13th, 2007 at 9:14AM Start simple, go outside in the yard and play with your babies,you don't have to talk to anyone but them.When my kids were little i was playing on the slide,wrestling,playing tag whatever...the mothers in our neighborhood to busy impressing others,ignore them ,your kids will thank you. |
 Feeling happy | Posted Jan 12th, 2008 at 3:59AM, last updated Jan 12th, 2008 at 4:02AM i started taking my kids to the local park [without my husband]. i try really hard to go when no one else is there, but its next to impossible to avoid seeing other humans. something is definently wrong though. when people approach me i think they get the impression that i'm rude. i dont mean to be. i'm just so uncomfortable. my heart rate elevates. i dont like to make eye contact. and my brain, literally, is a mind of its own. i cant focus on the person or what they are saying, no matter how hard i try. it sucks even when i take the kids to the doctor. my husband has to come. i can not focus well enough to comprehend what the doctor is telling me. i just can not handle one on one interaction with people i dont know. |
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