Uncertain Life....

hi,

I am a 25 year old guy, though young I may be to post in here, I have a very strong feeling about this and wish to share.

I was a overtly ambitious student all my schooling and college through-out my graduation. every time i looked for opportunities and tried my hands on almost everything I felt would be useful.

As I am nearing completion of my Masters in Business Administration, I am little tensed with regards to career and other similar issues.

I have been successful in leading a team in college events lately but then don't feel confident of myself. I have decided against doing a job and my dad does'nt want me to join his business. I with my two friends have been planning a business but I tend to rethink every time and dismiss my own ideas. I contributed all the business ideas and I was the one to dismiss them too. I am excited at one moment and when rethinking of them I think otherwise. this has been troubling me a lot these days because it gives me a feeling that I will not be able to do anything in life if this is to continue but at the very instant the thought that a thorough analysis is necessary too. I ain't sure if this phase will pass and i will emerge a winner. 

I also share difference of opinion with most of the people. I tend to analyze everything and often find myself in trouble arguing about things and suddenly i realize that its useless trying to convince because they do not see as I do, they all think the same. This happens with my parents too. I do not share great relationship with parents and there always exist some kind of disagreement between us.

Every time i enter into an argument i feel neglected and wish I should end my life. but then the other thought is that its wrong committing suicide and that i have the energy and power to transform life. but how is the question and I rerun the entire episode and try to look for flaws. while I always have been thinking of taking up sagehood.

I feel if i try to avoid such feelings like playing or socializing or gaming or something like that i will only run from my self. i also think i was born for sage hood but I ain't sure that I will be able to live a life like that.

have tried real hard to share, finally did it today.

ashjais ashjais
22-25, M
1 Response Feb 17, 2010

I hate the feeling of being uncertain....it is one of the worst feelings ever