Lost Memory

I seriously can't even remember a time in my life when I was truly happy. Just to wake up everyday, feeling happy that my boyfriend would text me "good morning beautiful<3", feeling happy that I get to hang with friends today, feeling happy that I'm alive... all of those feelings are gone. Now, I just wake up every morning, to the same text, to the same hatred, and to the same pain. Sometimes, I'm even disappointed that I wake up, like I was just hoping to stay in a coma of Dreamland, where everyone around me is happy, including me.
My relationship has been the biggest issue with this. We started out awesome, he would call me, bring me tiny gifts often, treat me like a lady, and we just loved each other. But now, nothing happens, no calls, no gifts, and absolutely no manners, I'm one of the guys now. He's also a different person, he used to act like a man when I needed him to, he'd never poke or make fun of me, and would watch his mouth. Now, he criticizes my every move, makes stupid boyish decisions, and drops F-bombs every other word.
I've been nothing but miserable since this all started happening. I wake up sad, go about my day sad, and cry myself back to sleep just to start the cycle all over again.
AfetxXavier AfetxXavier
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 22, 2013

Seems as though maybe you two jumped into a relationship too quickly? hey we've all been there. You're at an age right now where body and mind exploration are starting to peak, you're right to question where you are at this point in your life. One thing you need to understand is that life is a vicious circle, you're not always going to be in your most ideal situation but you either make the most of it or find a way to correct it. In the beginning everything seemed perfect only because it was probably everything and more than you had already wanted right? fast forward to today & you're unhappy with what once made you so joyous, this sucks I know. This is my take on what may be happening. Maybe your boyfriend has grown comfortable around you enough that he believes he can just be himself, but never picked up on the fact that all those little things he use to do for you would make you feel super special all the time. We are naive to this 9 times out of 10, trust me ;). One day after you guys get together you should ask to talk to him about how you've been feeling, one thing I think girls like to imagine is that their boyfriends can read their minds and well you know how it can get complicated from there. Remember that a relationship is about two people who challenge each other yet compliment each other as well, not two people who just like each one looks on another.