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Alone

I have been alone since i was just a a child . I have started drinking and too be honest I am drinking as I sit here and write this. I have no friends and family I never see and I work in caregiving with a family member who is sick and cant take care of themselve. I do not want the person to have to be in a home but having to deal with all this alone is depressing me to the point that I hate life and just want too end it already I do not enjoy anything anymore and feel like nothing why has my life amounted to this and why was I born without the privileges others have been giving to them. I was not born with looks, wealth, talent or anything and jt seems unfair. I just want too be able to be happy and not wake up feeling like complete garbage this is my fault and obviously I am not asking for pity but rather I just want to express myself so I can stop bottling of all this negative energy. I just want to be free and happy
An Ep User An EP User 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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I once used to be like you but I had to solved problems and making the changes not with anyone's help but myself! Somebody told me God doesn't help people who don't help themselves even though I don't believe in God but that person has a point!
No one will pity you in life you only makes it worse on yourself if you want anything you must get it yourself!

Hey friend, first off you're not alone in your struggles reaching out about your pain was the first step, when I look at your situation I couldn't help but familiarize with you. You're a better person than most for sacrificing the time to help your sick family member, I don't know his/her situation but I'm 99.9% sure that they're probably thrilled that you're around to help them whenever they may need it, please don't ever consider taking your life "pain" is only temporary, it can last a day, a week, a month, hell even a year but it's only temporary. Now as far as your looks and overall character flaws? well forget them! every single person in this world is flawed to some degree. I can tell in your writing that the desire to make a change is there, and trust me there are lots of people that have zero desire to make the necessary changes in their lives to feel "happy" again. One particular hobby I enjoyed to express some of my emotions be it good or bad was drawing/ painting, this is a great way to relieve some of your range of emotions and find out a little bit more about yourself possibly? I wish I could be more helpful to you friend but I tried to touch on each point you made. Please don't hesitate to get in touch if you need someone to listen.