Alone

I once used to be like you but I had to solved problems and making the changes not with anyone's help but myself! Somebody told me God doesn't help people who don't help themselves even though I don't believe in God but that person has a point!
No one will pity you in life you only makes it worse on yourself if you want anything you must get it yourself!

Hey friend, first off you're not alone in your struggles reaching out about your pain was the first step, when I look at your situation I couldn't help but familiarize with you. You're a better person than most for sacrificing the time to help your sick family member, I don't know his/her situation but I'm 99.9% sure that they're probably thrilled that you're around to help them whenever they may need it, please don't ever consider taking your life "pain" is only temporary, it can last a day, a week, a month, hell even a year but it's only temporary. Now as far as your looks and overall character flaws? well forget them! every single person in this world is flawed to some degree. I can tell in your writing that the desire to make a change is there, and trust me there are lots of people that have zero desire to make the necessary changes in their lives to feel "happy" again. One particular hobby I enjoyed to express some of my emotions be it good or bad was drawing/ painting, this is a great way to relieve some of your range of emotions and find out a little bit more about yourself possibly? I wish I could be more helpful to you friend but I tried to touch on each point you made. Please don't hesitate to get in touch if you need someone to listen.