I'm Not I Love With My Husband

I have been married for 9 years on November 30th, but I have been with my husband since 1996. We have 2 beautiful children. The problem is, I am falling out of love. It's been a rocky road for quite some time. My husband likes to drink and when he does he drinks to get drunk. he also comes from a family of drinkers. I have cried and argued too many times because of this alone. He doesn't feel it is a danger to our children or his income because he doesn't get violent or not go to work. He is self employed so it isn't is somewhat easier in his eyes. He doesn't see my point of view. He grew up thinking it was fun to drink with his mom and grandma and be in a bar as a child. I did not grow up the same. Alcohol was something my family had in moderation on holidays. I don't believe getting drunk with your mother in front of the kids is appropriate. It's just not what I feel is normal behavior. When the kids were born, I wasn't as fun to him as I used to be. I guess one of us had to grow up and be responsible. He doesn't go to bars that often but does have people over to our place by the river. It usually depends on who he is drinking with. I don't like his mother at all! She is the biggest influence on my husband as far as drinking. The kids have told me they don't like to see him drunk. His self employment income has become half of what it was last year. We are struggling financially. I work full time and keep us going while we wait for him to get paid or get work. It is getting us so far behind. I am afraid one day we might lose our home. He refuses to look for employment because he might get busy with work. So we wait. He is big into hunting and fishing. It seems that it is the only thing he cares about. He doesn't participate in the kids's activities, help me with the house, or any other support. I feel like we are room mates. We don't sleep in the same bed, make love more than a few times a month. He expects so much from me but is not willing to give me anything in return. I just don't know if I can go on like this. My anxiety is horrible, I am always stressed. I am ready to give up on this marriage!