more problems :D

I've been different than my peers for a long time. If I had to put a year it became noticable on it I'd say around 8 years old. that's when they began running tests on me. i didnt know why or wot they were doing until i was 15 and asked my mum. they were testin for lotsa stuff, includin "petymal seizures" i think i spelled that right... regardless, that continued through elem. shcool. in 6th i had to eat lunch with th principal every thursday, and i swear, she was a sweet women but could she find NOTHING to talk about besides that frickin Palm Pilot??? i nodded and smiled my way thro it. that was th medical stuff ( they put me on all kindsa meds. i stopped takin em by now, b/c i got sick of bein a guinea pig. so ha. i mean, i went thro depression, anorexia, insomnia, severe mood swings, to name a few) . socially, th girls group disowned me in 3rd grade. i didnt care; they were boring. i got accepted by th guys by playin pokemon lol. it was way more fun. so ive always gotten along with guys better which is ironic b/c when i was little i hated men. now i hang out with guys so much ppl think ima *****. huh. but in 5th my guys turned prep and my class of 50 kids hated me. dunno why to this day. i had one friend, josh, and he was beat on as much as me...they called him "nothing but a hitting bag". he got homeschooled for 3 or 4 years after that. he goes to my high school now, but he dont talk to me....sad. so 6th i was alone, but i wanted friends. i befriended garwin and thomas. new kids. it was k for th first half of th yeer, then th Lockett's came back. they were twins and my troublemaking friends. they wanted to be thoma's friend, but he hated them. i tried to fix it. he began beatin on me. he made a list of laws i had to follow, which i spit on. that helped lol. i became a recluse and crazy, so by 7th i was terrified. i made th top band, which consisted of 8th graders primarily. i had to spend study hall with them. i would hide in th storage lockers and they would abuse me in various ways..one day i snapped and fought back against 5 8th grade guys. i made them scream like little girls haha. oh! i should mention that in 6th i weighed 74lbs. in 7th i weighed 75, and i was 12 yrs old. i had learned to fight when i was 8 tho, by my one female friend's brothers, who were in 5th and 8th grade at th time. they beat th crap outta me but it was fun! regardless, th bandees left me alone after that, and to this day they call me crazy. but by th end of th yeer i became lonely and in 8th i decided to talk to random ppl just outta th blue. it worked. but ive always had those remnents of those years, and a little part of me is still 12, still 10, still 8. that's prolly not good, but it's prolly good to remember th past tho...
wildlark wildlark
18-21, F
May 1, 2007