Hated

Ever feel like everything that you do in life is never good enough in your family's eyes. I may need some help here and ask that you post your advice for me if it sounds like I am the problem. Throughout my whole life, I lived as a caring and helpful person with some strong views but very respectful towards others. I might have made some mistakes early on in my life but have started a new path to better myself. I've never been involved in drugs or anything like that but sometimes feel I can relate to a drug addict. They don't want to feel the emotions that I feel everyday now for the past 2-3 years now so they take drugs. My family, and I must stress to you that I am ashamed to call them that, makes me feel unimportant and useless every single chance they get. I have began to distance myself from them by not really doing birthdays anymore with them and other events that might come up. A simple happy birthday is all I say if that now. My own mother who I show the utmost respect to, analyzes my every move and has a rebuttal on everything I do. It even came out of her mouth one day and said to me around others, what kind of parent is this and laughed. I am a parent of a few beautiful kids and I love them to death. I would never allow them to feel the way that I feel towards my family so I show them love in my home and acknowledgment always. It's hard to stay discreet when explaining myself. My family only calls me for something when it's convenient for them or there's something in it for them. I used to be the one who puts together gifts for everyone and make them feel special but I never got anything back to tell me that I was special for thinking of them. When my children's birthdays come around no one calls them anymore to say happy birthday but will I be wrong to tell them that they don't care about them? When you're not close to your mother early on in life it makes it hard to try and get that closeness later in your years because the resentment you feel for your mother, she probably feels it towards you too. I have always lived my life independently since a very young age and I don't have many friends. I am currently advancing my career and plan to be a professional soon. The support from family is not there. It makes it hard for me to sometimes share my experiences and feel happy because there is no one available to share it with. My family would go out with friends or other members of the family and don't include myself and my kids. When we are included, were ignored and my kids are being constantly scorned. Why should I bother to show up anymore? I don't converse with them but see what they've done and who they went with on a social website and how happy they were. I have seen what these people are capable of doing and I don't wish to mend anything between us because it hurts so much but ask what have I done wrong. We all live in the same state and towns but  speak every few months or so to see what is up with us not even a how are you doing. I'm tired of it and prefer to just start saying I have no family just my kids and my boyfriend.

HATEDBYFAMILY HATEDBYFAMILY
31-35
Feb 25, 2010