Not Looking Forward to Mothers Day

It will be like Christmas Day where I will feel like spending the day in bed with the doona pulled over my head.

My dear Mum died 2 years ago and my only child doesn't want me in her life.

I think I will buy another cat. Already have one, but this time will get a kitten. Reckon that will distract me and give me some fun and make me feel loved and needed:>)

felicita felicita
66-70, F
6 Responses Mar 20, 2009

Thanks LV

I am sorry to hear that, sorry for your loss.<br />
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I wish I could do something for you, I am always here for you.<br />
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Lots of love and hugs

Thanks LP.<br />
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Shall think upon these things<br />
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Like the use of the word "coagulating". It seems very apt.<br />
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I sometimes think Sartre did more to confuse people about Existentialism that he ever did to explain it! LOL For me, I think it boils down to being authentique to who you are deep inside. You have to figure that out first! No easy matter. Then you have to accept that (horns, claws, moles and warts and all.) Then I think you have to decide what authentiq is for you (not the same for everyone maybe?) If I truly believe that I am responsible for whatever I have actually done, but that I was doing the best I could (even if it was not very good by the standards of others), I have to be OK with what I have done. I need to give that same freedom to those I care about (and really even to those I don't care about to be really fair.) I believe that each of us is responsible for whatever s/he does. If my son is doing the best that he can do (in his judgment, not mine) and that includes ignoring me sometimes, not giving me any priority in his life, not wanting to care for me, not needing me in his life, he must have a good reason (in his mind) for doing that. I don't know what it is; I don't understand his reasoning; I don't agree; I have to accept that and go on with my life w/o feeling wounded, injured or rejected. He is doing what is right or authentic for him. I have to keep being authentic for me. <br />
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I don't know if this makes sense or not, I've just been able to figure it out for myself fairly recently. LOL So far, it seems to work for me better than being depressed, lonely and sad. I haven't ever really stated this to anyone else. It's just coagulating in my haed for a year or so. It may be a little "gnarly"to others.

Thanks for your comment LP.<BR><BR>Sorry to read that you too experience this kind of uncertainty about being acknowledged as a mother. It stinks!<BR><BR>Are you taking the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to this and saying that we can choose to react or not react to such situations? I am familiar with it, but it's a bit hard to put into practice especially with an emotionally charged issue like motherhood.<BR><BR>As for Sartre, I bought copies of all his books in the hope that I would find out definitively what Existentialism means. Still don't know. So I read all of Simone de Beauvoir's. Still don't know. It's either too complex or too simple a notion.<BR><BR>But I digress ...<BR>Nice to talk

So sorry to hear that you are feeling that down about Mother's Day. I have been there myself. In my case, I never know from year to year if i am in the doghouse or not. My only consolation for you is that if you can accept that in many ways you were not exactly responsible for your child's birth, you are also not necessarily responsible for her rejection.There is a force that moves our lives that is often not under our direct control -- call it what you will (karma, destiny, kisnet). How we accept,react and adjust to the ensuing events is all that is really in our control. In the long run, our attitude is the ultimate factor in whether our lives are happy, bearable or not. WE create our own heaven or hell. [I don't want to give total credit to satre for these ideas, but I think they are rather Existential. LOL I have been much busier than usual and promise to be more in touch. LP