It Hurts To Wait For Him To Be Ready

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost three years. I am 22 and he is 24. We are living together and have both finished school. I know we are young, but I really want to marry now. I am tired of this extended adolescence, and I want an adult life. I am a professional respite care provider, which means I babysit for kids with special needs. Everyday I take care of other people's children, and it is so painful for me because I want to raise children of my own so badly. I have spent six years caring for retarded children and I am afraid that if I wait to long to become pregnant than my own children will turn out retarded! I know that I still have time, but I think about this everyday. I love my boyfriend and we were best friends for months before we started dating. I don't want to pressure him, but I do anyway. Several times EVERY DAY I ask him, "are you going to marry me?" and he says "I'm not ready," or "maybe," or "please stop asking me." I wish that I could just wait for him, but I just want it so much, and I am so sad that he doesn't feel the same way. I am planning on going to medical school next year, and I don't know if our relationship will be able to handle that without more commitment. I know what your thinking, how can I have babies if I'm about to go to medschool? I know it doesn't make sense. I just want it so bad, like with every level of my being. The worst part is that if he did want to, I never even give him the chance to propose because I am pestering him about it everyday. This situation causes me to cry and become depressive ALL THE TIME, although the feelings don't usually last that long.
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2 Responses Dec 30, 2010

I read in a different story about a girl that was in the situation as you are and there was a guy who commented that men are ok as long as they are comfortable. Maybe your bf has too much, he has nice companionship, sex and probably food prepared by you. This same guy i mentioned also said that if a guy doesn't propose to you in 2 years he will probably never will, so if you want to take his advice, you should probably move on sweety. Time is not on our side and you are the perfect age to have kids. That way he either reacts or you find someone else who will. (And next time don't move in with him).

Hey girl,<br />
Runfromlove is correct by saying this but s/he does not know you and cannot judge you. Just as long as you got your point across, we all understood it.<br />
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To be honest, i have been in your shoes. I was in a 2 years relationship and from the beginning, i wanted to have kids so badly. I would cry day and night about it. And he refused to have a child. It got so bad that i wanted to have sex with him when he was drunk so that he wouldnt know that he had ***. Sorry for the word. Anyway, throughout this 2 years, the only thing that could come out of my mouth is "baby". You can read it on 1 of the experiences i have posted.<br />
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But you know what, i am so glad that i never conceived with that man. We are no longer together. It has been 3 months since we broke up and i found someone else who is better and younger. <br />
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One of the reasons for the break up was because he didnt want a kid at the moment. Me being 21, young, and independant, i wanted my life as a mother to start soon. And because of him, it couldnt. The guy i am with now is scared out of his ***** to have a kid at the moment. He is 19. So i am not sure how long we will last. But i have told him, if it is that i do get pregnant and you dont want a child or want me to abort it, i will runaway and leave you. I want a kid so badly, why would i want to abort something i really cant wait for. People tell me that i am still young and still have to enjoy my life. I believe that i can still enjoy my life with a child. I dont care if the father doesnt stick around. As long as i have my pride with me. I still get sad and cry almost everytime i think about it, but i also unerstand where my boyfriend is coming from. He is young and not financially stable enough to provide for me and a kid. But as you know, at times, you dont care about the money, about how people would look at you or how you would be treated. What matters is that no matter what, you will feel head over heals when you just find out that you pregnant. It could be the worst feeling ever, but it could also be the best.<br />
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Send me your e-mail address then we can talk about it in private, if you want to. We can learn alot from each other. Hope to hear from you soon