Super Underwear

M y paternal grandparents and one of my uncles are mormon.  My grandparents weren't religious until my father was a teenager.  His older brother went to Brigham Young University and was converted. He went on a mission and converted his parents.  They never attempted to convert any of us and were always respectful.  When I would stay with them during the summer I would go to services with them.  I only went to the young women class once.  They were asking the girls to list the presidents. They started listing off random names I hadn't heard of before.  I was completely freaked out in my head.  I assumed they didn't recognize the real list of Presidents.  It turns out it was just the Presidents of the Church.  The missionaries that would come through would get their laundry done at my grandparents for free.  I would talk to them and one set agreed to let me visit the other churches with them.  We went to all the different denominations in town.  The Pentecostal was the one where I lost my cool and decided visiting churches wasn't for me.  A group of people staring at me while half of them shout Jesus and the other half speak in tongues was my religious people threshold.  Both of my husbands were raised Pentecostal, I just can't escape it.  I took a road trip with the other mormon teens to go to the Texas Temple.  I wasn't allowed inside, but they told me about it.  There is a list of dead people that need to be blessed.  They dunk the children into golden cow basins representing the baptism of the dead.  When the temple was built in St. Louis I wouldn't miss getting the tour for the world.  My good friend who is also obsessed with belief went with.  You can only see the inside of a mormon temple before it is blessed.  We went into the "heaven" room and it was like being in an episode of the Lawrence Welk show.  My grandparents did wear the protective underwear everyday.  My grandmother was an avid reader and very intelligent.  I never could completely understand her need for this, but i definitely could see that she needed it.  She loved the fact that she knew exactly what would happen after death.  Mormon religion is very good with that, they have everything planned and known.  That is why they will keep growing.  They not only tell you that life goes on after death, but they know all of the details.  They have none of the Catholic stuff where you are going to be raised from the dead but the details are a bit sketchy.  My image of my grandmother was lowered, even if it was ever so slightly, after our polygamy conversation.  I asked what she would do if the church president spoke to god and was informed that polygamy needed to be re-instated.  She said it would be a sacrifice but that of course she would do whatever the president, and by proxy god, informed her to do.  Don't ever be deluded into thinking that all mormon families are loving and happy.  My uncle has the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen and that is saying a hell of a lot.  I also have mormon radar and can spot one a mile away.  To each their own.