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Why Doesnt My Mom Love Me Too?

 My brother has always been my mom's favorite child. My brother went through some bad times. Such as depression and attempted suicides. Through all of that my parents were supposrtive of what my brother was going through. I used to always get furious becuase i never could tell my parents about my depression because i hate expressing feelings. I told my parents some of the things that i was going through and they really didnt care. They didnt care that i was depressed and wanted to kill myself every single day of my life. I think crying is a form of weakness and i hate crying but this one day i was crying and my parents were yelling at me to stop. My whole life i would say to my mom, "Why do you love steven more than me?" or if she didnt drive me somewhere or let me do something i'd say, "But you'd let steven do it." She would respond saying ,"When you have kids someday you'll see which one you would like better." Later in the day i would bring that up and she would get so angry at me and yell that she never said that and that she loves me too. I can tell she loves my brother more even from the tiny details. Everyday i think to myself,What if i attempted suicide to show them i wasnt kidding, then would my mom love me too?

ryannblake42 ryannblake42 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 12, 2010

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That's horrible!!! I hope she denies saying that because she feels so bad that she said it. Sometimes I think it's a gender thing. I think my mom hates me because I'm a girl and loves my brother because he's a boy.Maybe some moms are just like that??

I know how it feels. It hurts like a stabbing knife, but I don't get it. Stupid parents.

I give you my sympathys maybe leave this open on a desktop somewhere in your house you know your parents will see it when you know your gonna be at school or at a friends house so they can see all your thought without being able to dissmiss them or walk away and give them time ti think