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I Turn Into A Self Righteous Boob

I love discussing life, consciousness, psychology and science with friends and family but when I force these conversations upon people, things start to get kind of nasty.
I was never really Interested in these subjects until a few years back, when something suddenly clicked in me, I started reading Jean Paul Sartre and became very "existentialist", or so I thought, then moved onto Nihilism. After a while of sponging information from the internet and books, I felt I had this superiority over people and it wasn't going too well for me, I pushed a lot of people away and I became quite angry with everyone and very disappointed with life. After about a year of essentially being a ****, I started researching various eastern philosophies such as Vedanta, Buddhism and Taoism, these philosophies pierced my very soul and smashed my most obvious delusions into a million pieces. My attitude towards life and people took a turn for the better, I became very interested in psychology (especially Carl Jung's approach - one of my heroes) and I started to understand the human condition with a clarity that I lacked before.
I am now very understanding of people, I don't hold grudges like I used to, I'm generally sensitive to peoples feelings or beliefs and I have also become a lot more intuitive and mindful. Unfortunately, as you may or may not know, people are very touchy on certain areas of conversation/discourse, they can feel personally targeted often they react defensively especially when it's a belief they've held onto for a long time. Very often I used to and still refuse to accept these terms and proceed to bash through their walls of defense ruthlessly. I become snarky and offensive in my approach and this only augments their defense mechanisms often leading the discussion to an abrupt halt. These days I try to steer conversations away from topics that I notice offends people but every so often I push forth, hoping to break through but only to catastrophic ends. Nobody's perfect, especially not me, but even though I get out of control sometimes, I have never been a person who doesn't apologize.
julienstaheli julienstaheli 26-30, M Dec 27, 2012

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