OK? What's That???

i live a lie, everything i thought i knew?? turned out to be a lie. i spend my days in la la land. i smile to everyone just to hide my pain. i look for any excuse to not be in this house. all i see and hear all day and night are the ghosts of yesterdays past.

I am I ok??

I am far from ok.....

i cant even remember what ok is, or was..


unbalanced23 unbalanced23
36-40, M
6 Responses Feb 16, 2009

i know, i mean my lips tremble when i force a smile on. my face hurts from smiling so much. im just so tired of it, buts its hard to stop pretending after you've done it for so long.

i just wanted to tell you.....i understand. i feel like have lived my whole life being something i am not. i dont know who i am anymore, or if i ever did. pretend smiles are now getting old, and can hardly force it anymore. i am far from okay as i can get.<br />

thats the problem..<br />
im the only one that does for me...

Of course it is ! but what else can you do ? <br />
We are alone in this life and if WE don't do something for ourselves nobody will.

its all easier said than done...

As perverted and sadistic as this may sound you could make a change ! <br />
<br />
What bothers you ?<br />
Why do you suffer ?<br />
What does happines mean to you ?<br />
<br />
We all are fake in our everyday relationships but we also need a friend or two in this shity and painfull life.If we can't find them in real life maybe we could have virtual ones... anything will do ! <br />
<br />
I can't promise I will be your close friend but I am willing to listen to you, your pain worries and hurt.Write me anytime!