When you have Tourette's, you can't pretend to be okay, even when you're not. People notice and understand there's something wrong with you.
When you have social anxiety and you park your car in front of the mall, but end up driving home rather than shopping, then you're not okay.
When you're deeply depressed because you are afraid of what you've become, then you're not okay.
When you're acting all paranoid because you're afraid what other people may or may not say behind you're back, then you're not okay.
When you're sex life has been reduced to a mechanical thing to reduce stress, due to your social anxiety, you're not okay.
And when you're too depressed to eat or even feel hungry, then you're absolutely not okay.

But I see a psychiatric nurse whenever I feel the need to get recharged. And in February next year, I am starting cognitive behavioural therapy.

I'll manage! I know I will. I'm gonna fight this crap. I refuse to give in to other people's negative ideas of who I am, what I am and what I might have.
There are too many "hobby physicians" out there, who I've never met, that suddenly have an opinion about me and my personal problems. Like they know me. Like they've known me their entire lives.
I'm disgusted by those people! I wish they took a long hard look at their own lives.
Still I manage to get trough it. I refuse to give in to the crap they spit out. I'm gonna fight it.
There will be many more moments this fall, when I'm not okay, but I'm gonna pick myself up from the dust, go to work and survive until February.
And if this new specialist, has no answers and therefore also becomes one of the many, I'll probably manage to get through that too.
Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979
36-40, M
1 Response Aug 17, 2014

I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this. Honestly, it makes my problems seem a lot less severe. It is NOT okay to feel any of those things on a regular basis. I really think you need to find the right doctor to treat you. You may always have to fight it and struggle but with the right combination of treatment, your quality of life could be vastly improved. I really hope you find it soon.

Thank you :) I've been with many different specialists since 2004.....neurologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, neuropsychologists and now also a psychiatric nurse. Only thing they've managed to do so far, is agree on my social anxiety disorder and conclude that I don't have epilepsy. I took anti epileptic medicine for many years, when it turned out I didn't even have epilepsy. So I'm not impressed and so far seeing a specialist, has only been a short visit. A "talk" for 45min or at least no longer than 2 hours, and then I'm back home. So basically I've been waiting 6 months for nothing. So you learn to not get too excited, but it doesn't mean you get less depressed. That's the funny part. You see a specialist because you're depressed. He decides you are not sick enough so he sends you home. And then you become depressed because he sent you home.
I have no meds, but I know that my social anxiety and my Tourette's are linked. So if I can control one of them with meds, then the other would be reduced greatly, and that would indeed improve my life quality.
The only reason I'm feeling bad, like in this post, is because I'm on no medicine. And even though it's great to not take any, there is a limit for everyone. How long should you continue without it? When is enough, enough? Well besides that medicine for epilepsy, I've been untreated for soon to be 11 years. Why my doctors or specialists haven't given me any other options but to "talk about it", I don't know. I do know there are strict rules for prescribing heavy drugs to patients in Norway. And I do know that my private physician, who is also a med student, didn't dare to prescribe anything because he was afraid to make a mistake. And that is a huge problem in the town where I live. Too many med students and too few actual doctors with experience.

How frustrating. I never saw the harm in needing to take medication. Obviously some doctors over prescribe but you truly need something and could be helped by it.

Yes it's very frustrating. And I'm not a junkie, and I'm not suicidal.
I don't know how the rules are in your country, but there in Norway doctors have some strict guidelines when it comes to heavy drugs. If you need anti depressive medicine, then you need to be on it for a whole year. And if you're not getting better after that year, you have to take it for life. And therefore doctors are anxious to prescribe it. On the other hand I am sure there are many different types that are not that "heavy" that I could have gotten long time ago. Even my psychiatric nurse said so before summer. She said "it's ridiculous you have to wait for a consultation with some specialist, just to get some medicine a private physician could easily prescribe". She's Danish and she is most certainly not impressed with the Norwegian health care system. She thinks it's too strict, too many rules and regulation and too many med students running around with little experience.
Yes in my case my two diagnosis follow each other, so if I had medicine for one of them, then I could easily live with the other. Because I have mild Tourette's. It's just that my anxiety makes it worse. So if you treat the anxiety than the Tourette's would be okay. After all stress releases my Tourette's tics. So it's so frustrating that I have gone so long and no help anywhere. They all seem to understand my problems, but they would rather recommended me further, than to just try something out. And meanwhile time passes by, and I'm still in the same mess.

Yes your healthcare system is way different!

I wish it wasn't. I mean I am sure there are people out there, who are a risk factor, when given drugs. But I'm not one of those. I'm just someone who would like my life to be better. And someone who fears for his job. It's not easy to be a teacher in all this. I do have a very understanding and kind boss, but there are limits. I've tried to tell my various specialists all this. And then they give me the rude "it's all in your head" reply. I hate that. I have clear evidence it's not like that. Just because I'm not having a seizure when I'm actually at the doctors office, doesn't mean I imagine things. It's like they don't believe me unless they witness something. And then I ask them to take me in, and they refuse because they feel I'm not sick enough. Hate that :(

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