Her

it's been a little over a year. i found this site randomly and thought i'd join. i need a place like this to vent. anyway, the story starts near the beginning of the school year. i met her by chance. i never expected something like this to happen, but then again, who does? i mistook her for someone but it turned out we lived in the same building a floor apart. college is a small world, eh? she had a long distance girlfriend. i was enjoying my single life, being a player of the field. she was pretty much a good girl. i had a shady past. we started talking more just based on how close we lived and all that jazz. knowing she had a girlfriend made me not want to talk to her in any matter but platonic. but it all changed. it just developed out of nowhere. soon, we were talking everyday, multiple times. if we didn't, which was usually because of my busy schedule, she'll call persistently until i made time for her. i always did. i never met someone like her. i was led to believe that she would break up with her girlfriend. maybe it was just me believing in that lie. i don't know. but her girlfriend starting suspecting. things turned nasty. i guess i should have seen it coming. she denied to her friends and girlfriend about me and said that i pursued her and wouldn't let her go. it was totally untrue. i tried to leave many times. she never let me. i never pursued her even when she came to my room drunk and starting sleeping on my bed. i was so good to her, it amazed me. normally, i would have just slept with her at the first chance. but i fell in love. i finally made her leave me by making her choose between me and her girlfriend and acting like an ***. it was one of the hardest things i've ever done. but i wanted her to be happy and she said her girlfriend made her happy. she and i...we were in a relationship without a title and without the sex. my relationship with her has been the purest love i've ever had for anybody and i always thought relationships needed sex to grow. she made me a better person, and i her. cutting to present times. we see each other in passing once in a while. she doesn't acknowledge me. i tried to make contact. it failed miserably. in the last conversation we had, she told me she thought she liked me and that it was all a lie. i have no closure. i have nothing. i miss her terribly. i am not over her.
namehere namehere
22-25, F
6 Responses Sep 8, 2006

i had the same situation almost, but that she had another boyfriend. we were madly attracted, and still are, to each other, but it came down to choosing the new, crazy attraction, to her roots with the other man and she chose to play it safe.<br />
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the problem with my story is that i think we had sex too early and it made her feel violated. she even said to me "you said to me after i told you i was going out with him for five months that you would give it two weeks and i would be with you. you know how long it was from then that we had sex....two weeks. i don't trust myself with you" what the h.... is that kind of comment. it takes two to tango!<br />
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i thought she might be the one, i mean i really liked her and thought i could love her completely. it all crashed though and i sit here writing this out of frustration and loneliness while she is off refalling in love due to my pushing her away...or that is what i justify it with.<br />
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its hard to feel your not the one when it felt perfect in every way from our point of view and we thought we knew the other person's view but in reality we really don't know what the other person is thinking.<br />
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i think what we need to learn from this is that if someone has someone else in their life then obviously they are not ready for us. i thought i was this stud pla<x>yer with many choices, but i was brought back to reality with my situation and i have to realize that i am worth more than someone else's play time. <br />
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its hard to hold back but if their is someone else romantically involved with the person....pain is the only end to that relationship.......END OF STORY!

thanx for sharing.

i'm with reka on this one. it sucks a$$, but you've got to take what you learned from it and grow. life is full of pain, but the sweet moments will come. remember, love is a verb, and it goes both ways.

You should never get involve with that type of person because she knew exactly what she was doing and she had no intention on leaving her girlfriend; she was just playing with your heart. You did right by making her choose and since she didnt choose you, just leave the b**** alone. You can do better, believe me.

OMG...this sounds kind of like something that happened to me. It sucks...we have to keep working on it. She is probably damaged. Time might help.

im in the same boat almost exactly...my girlfriend and i had a horrible ending and i feel like ive never had any closure...it ended when she said she loved me but wanted to go off and date some guy...but she was still in love with me but never thought that she could see herself being with a girl forever- and if it wasnt forever with me then she didnt want anything-- and i was devistated. i still am. not a day goes by that i dont think about her. i even have another girlfriend but i feel so bad because i think of my ex every single day...