I hate myself for turning my life into what it is right now. I hate myself for making a lot of people expect a lot of things from me. Everyone keeps pressuring me to be the best and become valedictorian and I don't want to disappoint them. Because I feel like if I disappoint them they're gonna feel disappointed with themselves, especially my parents. It's like they worked so hard to give me this life but then because I failed it's like it was no use. I want to actually cut myself. I want to die. But I'm just afraid to, you know?
imunknown521 imunknown521
16-17, F
4 Responses Aug 21, 2014

My Grandpa always said "Anything worth doing is worth doing right the first time." and I believe he was right. We should all do our best at whatever we do. If we are successful then great, if not then we can try again. Here's the thing (IMO) you should do your best, in everything. Still though sometimes our talents and efforts don't match and we fail. So you either work to build up your strengths or you find what you're good at. Either way your parents are pushing you to push yourself because they want you to have a successful and happy life. You are at the age where you're building the foundation for that life now. The stronger and more solid you academic career now, the better college and more scholarships you'll be able to get. Then you choose what you're passionate about and study it. Get your credentials and do your ground work to be able to do what you love and have a secure future. THAT is what they are trying to do and it's not for them. If they didn't love you they wouldn't care about your report cards. Trust me, if you share how you feel and let them know you're stressed out, they'll want to help with that too. Even if it means backing off a little. Don't fool yourself, they won't stop caring and wanting the very best for you though.

Also, don't worry about others being disappointed. If you did your best it'll show and they may be disappointed in the result, but NEVER in you, unless you give up and quit, that is when you truly lose.

So TALK to them, let them know how you feel. Communication is something you also need to learn at your age. It doesn't come naturally to most of us and we need to work on it too, so here's your chance. Stand up for yourself and let them know how you feel. If you're respectful and honest, they'll respect you even more. :)

Best of luck and don't give up on yourself or your dreams.

Don't cut once you start its a really dangerous road to go down.i dealt with it because I thought the same thing and me being assaulted but anyways your parents will love you no matter what they may want you to be a certain way but tell them your going to be you and if it's not what you want then don't do it

Remember this, you might as well do what you want because in life you might also fail to do the thing you don't want.

Don't do anything that you don't wanna do. Give it your all but do it to make yourself happy. Its your future, and if they feel disappointed they should feel glad you even tried for them.

Don't cut yourself because I did like only 3 times a while back and I have a scar that is faded but I still see it because its my skin. It only brings back bad memories.

Do what you want to do to make yourself happy